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It was a rough day. I had a conversation with a friend that centered on two other young women who have cancer. No, the cancer wasn’t the center of the conversation – God was. Sometimes things are said by those who mean well that make God into an unlovable, horrible, callous brute.
Then, there were some family issues that were tinged with frustration and sadness at situations that didn’t need to be as difficult as they actually are. Some systems intended to keep organizations running smoothly neglect to factor in human intentions, emotions or compassion. Yet, we must somehow navigate those systems to the best of our ability without loosing hope.
The final blow was the bird. It flew directly into my picture window, leaving some of those soft, belly feathers behind. I looked out and saw the poor thing laying in the dirt. If birds could pant, it was panting. One little leg was curled in…the other stretched out and twitching. I didn’t know how to help it. I wanted to walk away, but couldn’t keep from looking back. It’s feeble, trembling breast seemed to be slowing down – indicating to me that that last of it’s life was slowly leaving that little body. The bird was a robin – to anyone who has lived through a Minnesota winter, the first robin of the spring is a symbol of hope – signifying that winter will loosen it’s mighty grip and warm weather will be a reality. Hope was dying in a pile of dirt in my front yard.
That’s when I lost it and let the tears that had been building all day flow. Where is God when these things happen? Does God cry, too? Does God feel the pain of families going through devastating illness? Does God see the futility of bureaucracies that have become more important than those they were designed to protect? Does God loose it when one of his beautiful creatures lies dying in the dirt? Couldn’t God just breathe life back into it? Or touch it like the Gospel of Thomas says the boy Jesus did, bringing it back to life? (Okay, the Gospel of Thomas is a conversation for another day – – but, I couldn’t help to think about it’s story as my little friend lay there gasping.)
I needed one more look at the bird for assurance that it was finally out of pain. That amazing thing was – it was gone! No, nothing could have ‘gotten’ it. It fell behind a short, brick wall where it was protected from predators. Besides, this was a span of about 5 minutes! It had recovered from it’s trauma – most likely it was temporary shock from having the wind knocked out of it. Apparently, it was once again going about life as a bird. Okay, a bird with a very bad headache and some stiff joints. But, none the less, it was alive!
How often do we feel like God has abandoned us? Things happen, young mom’s get cancer, situations sap our optimism and energy, birds fly into windows and hope seems to be dying. Yet, if we give God a bit of time; some trust; and the opportunity to do what God does best, we will find that God is working in and through all situations. Sometimes we simply need to look in God’s direction and pant a feeble, ‘Help’. Sometimes we need to look at a another’s pain and recognize where and how we can ease their load. Sometimes – sometimes we need to breathe deeply, stop ranting and know that God is present…even if we have to look long and hard to see God’s at work.
I guess that’s what it means to surrender it all to God.
Thank you! I really needed to hear this message today!
Beautiful Linda, just beautiful. Thank you
We are still doing school here (lite) and we were reading a story about the red robin in the winter time and hope.. how others warned him of the doom and gloom to come (ie winter), and that he should not be singing as the cold autumn winds began to blow. Yet the red robin said, “I rejoice in each day’s blessings as it comes, and never wish for more than does come. You, who are wishing the present to be better than it is, and fearing that the future may be worse, are meanwhile losing all enjoyment of the hour that now is. You think this wise. To me it seems as foolish as it is ungrateful!” pg 79, later in the story…. “And now, indeed, began a sever trial of the Robin’s patience and hope. It is easy to boast while the sun still shines, if ever so little; but it is not till the storm comes, that the mettle of principle is known.” pg83, “Daily Bread”, Parables from Nature.
This books is actually for grades 1-3 in our curriculum (even though it is a difficult book for that grade). I have to say I usually get way more out of it than my homeschooling child. However, it is a great discussion for us along with amazing messages that they DO get.
Children’s stories are frequently meaningful on a number of developmental levels. It’s good to find meaning in all things!
Thanks, Karen!
What a timely message for me as well! I felt the same way on Tuesday. A friend was just diagnosed with breast cancer, another friend has her special needs daughter in ICU, I was very concerned about David Garrrison (he did great with his procedure) and my parents have been struggling with some health issues. Sometimes I feel as if every nerve on my body is being squeezed. I feel like so many wonderful people around me are struggling. Then I remember to breathe and pray. On Tuesday, all I could get out was “peace and comfort for these people (and me) please.” Just as Anne Lamott says, “Help, Thanks, Wow”. Right now I’m stuck on “Help”…..but that is what we have our spirituality for, and I should not just focus on the help, but to see the thanks and wow too!
Ali, some days just stink! Personally, I’m not great with the surrender-thing – although I’m trying (okay, reluctantly…) Faith reminds us that God is present always and everywhere. And, God works in and through all situations to redeem them. The short-form of that reminder is, ‘HELP…’. My big problem, and I think Lamott said this as well, is that I have a plan for God on just how that redemption should play out. Letting go of my agenda for God is tough! But, when I can get a grip on the surrender-thing, I catch glimpses of God in the situation and a sense of my part in the ‘peace and comfort’ I want for the people living through it. Although, you know me well enough to appreciate that I still crave access to the royal telephone so I can get some solid answers to these unsettling mysteries!!! Sorry to hear about your day…
Whew! Ali, Linda was right you did have a stinky day. I like what you said Linda about letting to of the adgenda we have for God. That hit me with a sense of peace with some issues I am having here. Thank you!
Oh shoot! I forgot to add, Ali, I’m praying for all involved in your post and ecspecially YOU ((huge))
Thanks guys! I am feeling less overwhelmed, and as silly as it seems, reminding myself to breathe helps too! The surrender thing is sooo hard! I keep thinking “This too shall pass.” Thanks for all your encouraging comments! Peace and Calm to you as well!