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A young man, a police officer and human nature…

20 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in acceptance, choices, compassion, Ferguson MO, human nature, relationships, Responsibility

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Recent events in a suburb of St Louis have monopolized the news. A young black man was shot by a white police officer. That’s about all we know of the situation. Various opinions have been offered by the media as to what actually happened. Yet, at this point the investigation continues and the general public is not privy to facts…only speculations surrounding the entire event.

The president spoke about restoring calm in the community. Sheriffs and now the National Guard have replaced local law enforcement. There is a national controversy about police departments, how they maintain the public trust, what equipment they should or should not use in explosive situations, and how they respond to groups of people identified by categories such as “minorities”, “impoverished”, “uneducated” and a litany of titles used to pit ethnicity against ethnicity, socioeconomic level against socioeconomic level, and community against community.

I am not a young, black male. I am a woman of a certain age who happens to be Caucasian. I know nothing of the day-to-day life, joys, frustrations, hopes, dreams, or lack of hopes and dreams that can come from growing up in a difficult urban setting. In kind, most young, black males know nothing about people who look like me. Yet, our human nature tries to make some crazy, twisted sense out of seriously misguided attempts to categorize groups of people by what they look like and where they come from when indeed the only means to know someone is to listen to their story with the intention of appreciating what they know about life based on where they come from and what they have been through. This is not to say we must condone every action with some Freudian rationale that the events of life forced the person to act as they did and therefore they are no longer responsible for what they do. Rather it is to understand that all of our behaviors are the product of what we believe life to be. That does not minimize the fact that we are always personally responsible for the choices we make – even when life does not seem fair.

Over the past generations, people who look like me have come through discrimination in academics and professions like medicine and law; religious roles and ordination; equality of wages; and business advancement opportunities. We have experienced cutthroat tactics from those who ”made it” and joined the rank and file of the “good old boys club” rather than mentoring those who came behind them. Some expected my generation of women to be submissive or subservient to men. I recall the question a fellow seminary student asked during a classroom discussion on women in ministry. “Why a woman would ever want to be a pastor?” He went on to question why women couldn’t simply find their fulfillment in being a wife and mother. The year was 2004. The young man asking the question was African-American.

You see, the discrimination against women wasn’t simply the result of a white, male dominated society. One must note many women held similar beliefs of who we were expected to be. It took radical thinking people of both genders and a variety of backgrounds and races to change the thought controlling paradigm which kept women and girls from using all of their gifts and talents to enrich the world we all live in. And, it took time to move all of us from a place where we accepted a dated archetype – even if we didn’t like it – to a place where we were respected for our abilities. We had to enter unknown places, boldly and with respect for those who were attempting to navigate the same uncharted territory with us. Mistakes were made, however underlying everything was the knowledge that we all have something to offer society that cannot and should not be squelched because we happened to be born female.

I remember asking the young man why he wanted to go into ministry, suggesting that his motivation and mine were very similar. Our differences in appearance could act as a barrier to understanding each other or our similar beliefs and perspectives on ministry could form a bridge to navigate who we are and whose we are in God’s world.

That brings us back to the young man, the police officer and a media frenzy. Certainly what happened in Ferguson, MO was not isolated. Reports of police brutality are plenty, not only among young black men, but also among people of every ethnicity. So are stories of law enforcement officers, caring and compassionate men and women, who put their lives on the line everyday to protect and serve. It’s not only African-American families who need to teach their young how to respond when confronted by an officer. We must all teach our children respect for authority as well as how to diffuse a situation that is moving out of control. Even bigger is the need to teach our children not to pigeonhole another into ethnic, socioeconomic, political, religious, or sexual orientation categories complete with characteristics that all people within a certain demographic must have.

Women had a difficult task as we moved forward toward gender equality. I am convinced that part of our ability to change the perception of what our roles should be was because of family life. No, I am not going down the path of who’s a good father and who isn’t. Nor am I going to focus on what makes a “good family”. Those are not my issues to judge. I am saying that at the end of the day, whether it was the suffragette protesters demanding the right to vote or the corporate executive trying to break through the glass ceiling, women went home. And, in that home they interacted with fathers, spouses, sons, uncles, brothers, and male neighbors.  In work and at school they spoke with counterparts who were men. Every step of the way, women had opportunity to talk and to be heard about life as it was compared to life as it should be. These conversations impacted attitudes on so many levels! Men began to question whether or not they would want their daughters, wives, sisters or mothers treated as second class citizens. Conversations from the dinner table, the family reunion, the conference room, the classroom and the bedroom slowly changed a woman’s role in America so that opportunities for girls and women began to resemble the opportunities available to boys and men.

Unfortunately, the task is even more difficult as our nation attempts to bridge racial divides. Many homes and communities remain homogenous. Our human nature elicits a sense of comfort and acceptance when we spend time with people who look and think the way we do. Social media and news publications generate information that pits liberals against conservatives; affluent communities against impoverished communities; race against race when indeed these sources spew conflict as a means to sell something for a profit and not to actually inform the reader in an attempt to bring people together. We go about our business setting barriers around town of where we are comfortable going and places we avoid. We talk among our friends about “those people” and “what are they thinking” when indeed we are all in this game together. We become “those people” to individuals and groups with whom we have not had the opportunity or taken the time to share meaningful conversation. We don’t understand each other’s viewpoints and choose not to take the time to listen to what we have done to perpetuate attitudes and reactions to…well…people who look like us – whatever the features are that lump us in our particular groups whether they are based on skin tone, religion, socioeconomic levels or any other polarizing characteristic. And, at the end of the day, we all go to our homes without the luxury of having to talk, listen, compromise, yell, cry and finally understand someone who looks, feels, and acts differently than we do.

The thing is, life isn’t fair and the more we expect it to be fair the more disillusioned we will become. But, if we can begin to act out of compassion for others and the desire to get to know them and what makes them who they are; if we can show respect for another person and their experiences in life; and if we can share our abundance, whether it is riches, knowledge, or the ability to see the good in all of God’s creation, then, and only then, we might have a chance at changing this mess we have all created.  It’s about knowing that the world is bigger than our problems – even when our “stuff” seems insurmountable. It’s also about knowing when to ask for help and finding that place or person who will gently and lovingly guide us as we stumble through this crazy, mixed up thing called life.

Ferguson, MO can be a turning point for all of us. Which paradigms will we cling to and which ones will we shift and change to reach for that utopia Martin Luther King, Jr. so beautifully described when he challenged people everywhere to judge others not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character? I might add that list could include to not judge someone based on the town they live in, their income level, what political party they ascribe to, or any other polarizing characteristic we can think of.

It’s time for us to move forward together and create a reality of compassion and inclusion. Life will never be fair, but it can be better.

 

 

 

Jesus and politics…

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by in choices, Christianity, compassion, love, political correctness, relationships, Responsibility, Uncategorized

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I am sick to death of books, articles and comments that draw conclusions about God, Jesus and politics. Just today I saw a blog titled, “How would Jesus vote?” In my humble perspective, the two words “Jesus” and “vote” don’t belong in the same sentence. Nor do “God” and “politics”. Further, I take offense at writers who maintain someone’s faith is questionable if they don’t agree with the political slant of the writer. Good grief! Who are they to judge??? It is simply another form of religious bullying.

Let me explain.

How we live our lives matter. What is the right thing for one person to do might be the wrong thing for another. In Wesleyan theology, the term for this is, “the intention of the heart”. In common vernacular one might say, “what were you thinking when you did what you did?” In other words, the rationale behind our behaviors is what makes them the right or the wrong thing to do. If I take food to an elderly neighbor because I am hoping it will be noticed by the other neighbors and…let’s be honest…by God, I am doing the right thing for all of the wrong reasons. However, if I know my neighbor needs help and I offer that help simply because they need it with no strings or hopes for personal gain attached, I am doing the right thing for the right reasons. What motivated my actions? What was the intention of my heart?

I have a hard time seeing Jesus as a political activist. Instead, he modeled right behavior through the actions of his life. He attempted to change legalisms that prevented caring for others even when it wasn’t convenient or considered to be ‘right’. Take for example healing on the Sabbath. Jesus put relationship and compassion above following the rabbinical laws. Yes, these were religious laws as opposed to governmental decrees, yet they were powerful and offenders were subject to serious consequences, including death. It’s hard for those of us living in Western Civilization cultures to understand the magnitude of the ancient religious laws. We talk about our religious traditions, some of which impose excommunication for those who choose not to recognize them. Yet, at the end of the day, we do not fear prosecution if we act outside of those traditions.

We also see liberal and conservative religions making claims that are diametrically opposed, claiming God’s sanction for opposing perspectives. Consider the abortion issue. One side claims it is a mortal sin and seeks compassion for the unborn while the other side seeks empathy for situational crises and the need to show compassion for the mother. Who is right? Who is following God? I would wager neither and both.

You see, our faith doesn’t come in a neat little package. For every law that is passed, we can find a person or group of people that the law oppresses. That’s because life is messy and no law or series of laws can address situational peculiarities. Some laws that are intended to offer compassion to groups of people unintentionally, yet actually, withdraw compassion from others. Certain groups become ‘politically correct’ in their approach in one decade and 10 – 15 – 20 years later they are recognized as oppressors to the rights of others.

Think of the low fat diet craze of the 1980’s and 1990’s. Saturated fats were on the dietary hit list. We were encouraged to substitute trans fats for saturated fats. Some products limited fat all together but added high fructose corn syrup to make up for the bland taste when the fats were removed. Now, with additional studies, we understand that trans fats and high fructose corn syrup are not good for us. Some studies even report that we need saturated fats in our diets! The balance has to come from knowing something about health and nutrition and making wise choices based on that knowledge. It might involve getting to know a respected dietitian or nutritionist and visualizing them whispering in our ear as we navigate the grocery store or a restaurant’s menu. What would they do when confronted with a minefield of choices? Their advice would be given through the lens of knowing what nutrients promote healthy living.

I believe Jesus offered us the same kind of guidance. To follow Christ and the life he modeled is to consider all things through the lens of compassion, justice, mercy and love particular to a situation. It isn’t about governmental laws forcing us to make certain choices. It’s about our own hearts and what we are thinking as we stumble through life. And, it’s about allowing the still, quiet voice of Jesus to stir our conscious into right action.

Yes, we need governments to manage some things and that requires laws. John F. Kennedy aptly stated, “law alone can not make a man do right.” The bigger picture is personal responsibility and owning our shared responsibility for those who need a hand. It isn’t simply the rich handing over resources to the poor for that helps neither live within the fullness God intended for all of us in creation. Nor is it ignoring human need whether that need is for friendship, food, healthcare, dignity, education, housing, love, trust, justice and the list goes on. The thing is, the list does not have socioeconomic boundaries. Human need is present in palaces and slums; in rich nations and impoverished countries; in churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples. All we have to do is look around us and we will find it.

So, what does that have to do with voting? Actually, nothing. It has everything to do with each of us as individuals living life as God intended for us to live. You know, loving God with all of our heart, our mind and our spirit and loving our neighbors as ourselves. It isn’t about imposing our will on others, rather it is seeing our neighbors’ need and responding to it as we are able.

Jesus never forced his will on anyone, either through religious condemnation or the power of law. He did teach us to do what is right through the beautiful lens of compassion, mercy, justice and love. Of course, we all attach our own meanings to these words. Therein lies a problem. Yet, if we strive to balance these components and use them as guides, we won’t be too wrong. And, when we simply don’t know what to do, humble prayer and meditation help us find the still, quiet voice and reason of God to help us along the way.

 

On humility and arrogance and pizza crust…

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by in human nature, love, relationships, Responsibility, spirituality, Uncategorized

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imagesIt is actually quite fascinating to research the word “humility”. The definition ranges anywhere from a secular notion of being shy and timid to a theological perspective of understanding one’s self in relation to creation. Maybe that’s why the word is seldom used in conversation. It’s hard to know what meaning to assign to it!

Arrogance is quite the opposite. Definitions vary slightly in wording, but the general concept is someone who believes they are better, smarter or more important than another individual. Ouch! Who hasn’t fallen in this category at some time or another? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that advocates such self-promoting attitudes. Whose parent hasn’t bragged about one’s athletic, dance, acting and/or musical abilities or intellectual successes as something that makes them some how superior to others? You see, it was difficult to decide what word to use there. “Whose parent…” puts the emphasis on the offspring who grow up believing they are better or smarter and ultimately more important than the unfortunate kid down the block, in another school, from the wrong part of town, or cursed with the wrong family. If I had said, “What parent…” the responsibility for the better, smarter, more important attitude belongs to the supposed adult in the situation. Either way, arrogance is not only learned, but it is often supported by the words or modeled behavior of those in authority around us as the good and normal way to see the world.

Wait! What!?! Where did the “see the world” part come from? Isn’t that a stretch from “better, smarter and more important?” Nope. It is the direct result of how one sees oneself. Like, what eyes are you looking through? What is the lens of your worldview? How do you see yourself, whether its based on gender, race, skills and talents, a bulging bank account, or a myriad of other criteria, compared to others?

We have a lot of words ending in “ism” that speak to worldview…racism, socialism, communism, fascism, absolutism, illusionism, separatism, capitalism, consumerism, monotheism, pacifism, narcissism, and the list goes on. The problem is, we either cling to our “ism” for the exclusive group we think it allows us to belong to and where that puts us in relation to the rest of humanity, or we resent the “ism” because it categorizes us in a way we perceive as negative and not good enough when compared to the next guy. Either way, we tend to think our “ism” is the result of our being better, smarter and more important…than the others around us. That, my friends, is arrogance – a condition we all share to a certain degree.

As I am writing this, I am making pizza crusts. I make exceptionally good pizza crust. They aren’t the best pizza crusts ever, but they are definitely in the awesome category. I use a sourdough recipe that I also use for baguettes. By replacing some of the white flower with whole wheat, pumpernickel or cornmeal, I can make a variety of breads or bagels. Adding nuts, spices, herbs or dried fruit increases the number of possibilities from simple pizza crust and baguettes to seasonal, ethnic or artisan breads, rolls, pastries, and crackers. You see, to limit the life of my sourdough to pizza crust would prevent experiencing so many remarkable flavors – flavors that speak to emotions in indescribable ways. The butter dripping from a piece of limpa rye reminds me of my Scandinavian ancestors while a week old dry crust reminds me that not everyone has access to fresh, healthy food and water. Additionally, recognizing that others are incredibly gifted with wonderful abilities doesn’t negate the fact that my pizza crust is really, really good; rather it reminds me that others are equally adept at the things they are good at and if we all work together we can make a pretty spectacular meal, incorporating that which we all have to offer while not being limited to or by any one set of talents.

The Apostle Paul said it much more clearly in Romans 12:3-8

 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

You see, arrogance causes us to forget we are part of something bigger than we are. It limits our ability to see the gifts and talents of those around us, denying us all the opportunity to live and grow together.

Which brings us back to humility. To be shy and timid isn’t the same as being humble, or living with humility. Neither is humility the act of self-deprecation. These traits can actually prevent one from living into the gifts and talents Paul spoke of. Rather, to live humbly…or to live with humility…is to recognize the amazing gifts and talents God has given not only to you but also to others and to celebrate these gifts as necessary parts for the wholeness of living. In the Gospels Christ taught us both verbally and through living his life what whole living looks like – to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. To love God means that we not only love God, but we also love all of the sons and daughters who, like us, have been carefully designed by God to complete a piece of the wholeness of creation.

We aren’t created to be better, smarter or more important than anyone or anything. We must remember who we are and Whose we are. Eugene Peterson’s translation of Micah 6:8 in The Message states it well:

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

Humility…the art of recognizing ones place in creation. Our challenge is to live into the essence of who we were created to be while remembering that every person who has ever lived, who is living now or who is to come is just as special to God as we are. Arrogance limits how we see others and ourselves. We can only find the freedom to live wholly and completely in humility.

Mirrors, deeds and MLK…

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by in spirituality

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     Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?  Martin Luther King, Jr.

I finally got out the window spray and cleaned the mirror I use every morning. It’s a really cool mirror with magnification on one side and ‘normal’ on the other. Not only is it mounted on the wall at just my height, it is hard wired so I can flip the switch and light it up. The thing is, I liked it better before I cleaned it. Much like the effect of an airbrushed photo, the fine layer of dust muted my uneven skin tones, wrinkles and pores sending me blissfully into the world with an unrealistic modicum of perspective regarding my appearance as related to my chronological age. Ahhhh  – the joy of living in ignorance…

Ignorance is an interesting word. It refers to a lack of knowledge about something. I guess, like my mirror experience, that can be a good thing. But it can also be detrimental. I can wish all day long for health. But, if I am ignorant about the correlation between diet, exercise, relaxation, attitude and disease prevention, I will be ineffective in maximizing my body’s potential for longevity. There is some knowledge that we simply need to accept as our responsibility and not allow ignorance to blossom with the result of harm to others or ourselves.

Several years ago I was asked about the wording of The Confession of Sin used weekly in the Holy Eucharist. (Book of Common Prayer, p. 360) The confession begins with: Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word and deed by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. Most of us can point to a thing or two we have thought, said or done that was less than what might be considered a good thing. And, within that knowledge we can choose to ask for mercy or go on as if our behavior was either acceptable or it didn’t matter. The problem stemmed from the part of the confession that refers to the things we have left undone. There is only so much time! As it is, we must triage the demands of life so the important issues are taken care of. Does this mean that I’m not doing enough? What more can there be and if I have to ask, how can I be held accountable for something I don’t even know? Or am I responsible for something that didn’t make the cut for my time and attention? Certainly my ignorance of a situation shouldn’t be used against me!

There it is again…ignorance. Only this time it has to do with something far more serious than mirrors or healthy life practices. This time it has to do with the core of who we are as we live in this world created by the One who longs for the delight we will experience if we live as we were created to live.

The next line of the confession speaks to the nature of deeds and offers a hint toward answering the question: We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. What we have done is not loved God more than all that surrounds us. That’s hard! We are bombarded with some pretty cool stuff and awesome people! Sometimes God seems so distant that it’s easy to forget God is the essence of all goodness that we experience every minute of every day. Additionally, that part about not loving our neighbors as ourselves… I mean, I try! Maybe I missed someone’s birthday or didn’t send a note when they were in need of encouragement. Certainly I can get a free pass because I was busy with other important things! Maybe I didn’t know something was that necessary…maybe I was just ignorant…

Ignorance. There it is again. It is so easy to sit in the comfort of our own lives reassuring ourselves that we are good, or right, or entitled, or wronged, or justified, or unjustifiably accused or whatever it is that our hope or our rant for the day confirms. I have been known to become absorbed in the comments listed following online articles that can be viewed as either liberal or as conservative. The comments themselves are often diametrically opposed, yet the nature of the comments contain striking and unfortunate similarities. It’s as if like-minded people flock together to accuse the other side of being narrow-minded puppets of some crazy agenda that has nothing to do with the reality of either polarized opinion. Ultimately, neither side knows anything about the other, yet both seem to purport an in-depth knowledge of the other side and why they are simply wrong to think the way they think. Ignorance.

The more I learn about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the more convinced I am that he is someone I would invite to my fantasy dinner party. You know, the one where you get to ask whomever you would like to talk to from anytime in history. Dr. King’s insights into right living are profound and only surpassed by his ability to express them in easily understood phrases that invoke introspection and action.

It isn’t about who is right and who is wrong anymore than it should be about skin tone, gender or sexual orientation. It’s about what are you doing for others. Plain and simple. Do you love your neighbor as yourself? Are you looking at your own attitudes about others through the dingy haze of a dirty mirror or do you know what your prejudices and opinions really are? Do you know your neighbor or do you only know what you believe based on stereotypes and generalizations?

The confession then asks for mercy and acknowledges the desire to repent. To repent is to turn away from that which is wrong and keep moving further and further away from it. This is where we look to Jesus for perspective. You see, unlike most of us, Jesus didn’t base his compassion on judgment. The woman at the well didn’t need to change her life before Jesus spoke with her. The tax collector didn’t need to find another job before Jesus sat at his dinner table and shared a meal. He spoke with, learned about and accepted them just as they were in the complicated place life experiences designed for them. It was in the shelter of Christ’s love that they learned new ideas, opinions and ways of life.

You see, to love your neighbor as yourself is to learn about him or her so that we can begin to respond to their beliefs and motivation with sensitivity and understanding. It is also learning about yourself enough so that your own ignorance doesn’t get in the way.

John Newton summed it up in the first lines of Amazing Grace: 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

It is when we open our hearts to learning about another, whether it is an individual or a culture, that we will begin to see – really see – their situation and subsequently we will be able to do what needs to be done with love.

The Feast of Thanksgiving…

20 Wednesday Nov 2013

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Holidays083Look at the November issue of most magazines and you get the eerie and somewhat distorted perception that there are two general categories of people this time of year – those who prepare Thanksgiving dinner and those who show up with smiles and special new holiday clothes to enjoy it. Red plaid is good…a bow tie is even better! You might even see recipes for 15 ways to cook a turkey with 85 stuffing variations. The small print includes methods for leaving calories out of said meal or the perfect workout for when you realize you just consumed more food than a family of four should comfortably eat in a week’s time. Tucked into the perfectly posed pictures of perfect families around the perfectly decorated table with the perfectly presented meal is the message that this better be…well…perfect.

I remember Thanksgiving as a child. My grandparents set up a long table in their 2 bedroom, one level, tiny home. It stretched from the dining room straight through to the picture window in the living room, leaving only enough room for the Christmas tree.  Dinner had to be early enough so my grandmother could segue between meals from Thanksgiving dinner to Christmas. Immediately after the last dish from the main event was dried and put away, she pulled out turkey sandwiches and Christmas cookies. Her kitchen was small making it a real challenge to bake pies and rolls along with the turkey and a litany of mandatory side dishes. My job was to whip the cream with a rotary eggbeater just before the pie was served, being careful to get the perfect consistency. Not long enough would mean runny cream while too long would make the cream turn to butter. I wonder if this job was made special and important as a means to keep an excited little girl who couldn’t sit still standing in one spot long enough to get the table cleared without tripping over her. As I got older, I was allowed to carefully sort and put away the silver forks and spoons in their velvet lined wooden box. Aunt Helen brought scalloped oysters every year and Cousin Dorothy brought her son’s military picture to set by an empty chair when he was unable to come. Eventually, divorces, aging and ill health forced the tradition to change.  My memories remain unscathed. You see, as a child I thought Thanksgiving was a perfect day. Children don’t care if the potatoes are lumpy or if the dog was found gnawing on the turkey when no one was looking. They don’t care if Aunt Hilda had too much wine and caused an epic family meltdown. It’s still Thanksgiving and people have come together for a feast. To a child, calamities can make the day and the memories just that much better!

The tradition of Thanksgiving began in November of 1621, although the history we are taught often passes over an incredible story of unimaginable grace. We typically hear a story about the Native Americans who shared corn, pumpkin and turkey with the pilgrims at a potluck feast. The main focus is always on the pilgrims and how their faith and strength were rewarded as they made a primitive land their home. We don’t often hear the story of Squanto, a Native American who had been abducted by an English sea captain during an exploration of the North American coast in the early 1600’s. Through a series of events, Squanto returned to New England, only to be abducted once again by an Englishman with the intent of selling him to the Spaniards as a slave. Again, he managed to get away and returned home where he taught others this crazy new language he learned while on his ‘adventure’. It gets pretty amazing when you read that he saw the need of the struggling English colonists and helped them learn how to survive in this strange, new place. I mean, these were the countrymen of the people who held him captive not once, but twice. Because of the skills taught to them by Squanto, the pilgrims harvest was a success. In November of 1621 fifty-three pilgrims’  hosted 90 Native Americans at a 3-day festival. It included the celebratory feast we now refer to as “Thanksgiving.”

Now, let’s repeat this story one more time. Squanto, who was kidnapped by two Englishmen on two separate occasions, saw the need in the English settlers dire situation and stepped in to help. When the settlers were able to successfully grow, collect, fish, and hunt for their food using the skills Squanto taught them, they threw a little party and invited those who helped them along the way to come and enjoy a feast. The thing is, our traditions today have very little to do with the first Thanksgiving, other than showcasing turkey. Many Thanksgiving feasts have turned into a time of stress and frustration due to difficult family dynamics. Some find it to be a lonely day with no place to go and no one to share a meal with. Others may face it with sorrow as the once full table is occupied by only a few remaining souls and memories of the past. Our preoccupation with what is required to make the day perfect has skewed what made the first Thanksgiving special. That day was about broken, damaged people who came together as a community in spite of their differences to give thanks to God and – I have to believe – to those who had little reason to help them bit did it regardless…simply because they were people in need. They were thankful to be alive, thankful to have food and thankful that someone cared enough to help them along the way. I doubt anyone even noticed if the turkey was dry.

Maybe we have missed the point of this celebration.