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Category Archives: love

Right now…

15 Tuesday Aug 2017

Posted by Linda in acceptance, Christianity, community, compassion, difficult times, judgment, love, polarization, relationships

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Christianity, Community, compassion, God, relationships, religion

A group of vegans in Berkley, California protested a butcher shop until the owners agreed to put a sign in their window about animal rights. Their ultimate goal is to make it unlawful to sell meat anywhere in Berkley.

White supremacists protested the removal of a Civil War memorial statue in Charlottesville, VA and were met with a counter protest from anti-racist and anti-fascist demonstrators. A woman died as a result of an angry man focused on superiority.

The president tweets and the media pounces on ‘his intent’ by twisting each of his actual or missing words looking for an assumed intent to support their agenda of who he is and what he stands for.

Someone spews to a mutual friend distorted perceptions of another’s actions fueled by  anger, hurt and jealousy. The story spreads from friend to friend until it is so well known that it becomes a distorted truth.

All the while we cling to noble reasons for our behavior. We are acting out of religious beliefs; secular altruism; distorted world views; personal frustration; boredom; elevated perception of self; crowd mentality; or an array of other twisted beliefs that fuel dangerous and twisted behaviors.

We use our understanding of God to justify atrocious behaviors when indeed God’s plan for creation had nothing to do with hate, lies, violence, exclusivity or superiority.

We ennoble ourselves when we align ourselves with a group that gives itself title to determining who is moral and who is not. Then, we shout our opinion never taking a moment to listen to the other who is, most likely, as quick to shout back their opposing opinion.

We spin local and world events in a way that fits our ultimate agenda. Have you ever looked at the headlines of a conservative media outlet and compared the same event to a liberal source’s headlines? It’s hard to tell it’s the same event making it even more difficult to find fact and truth.

In our personal relationships we become hurt when someone doesn’t cave into our perceptions. We rant and spew, hoping they will see our perspective…and when they don’t, we tell our side to the story to anyone who will listen – hoping to gain their allegiance making inappropriate categories of us against them.

We want to be special, exclusive and above the other. We claw our way to the top with words, demonstrations, religions, economics and war.

And for what?

We are created to live and love in God’s world…period. Not to convince, connive, plot, scheme or manipulate anyone into living life based on our personal litany of rules. We are to come together to correct wrongs by collaborating with those who have different experiences and wisdoms than we do. It means discerning who we are and Whose we are in this amazing creation and living as if that matters. It means understanding that we will all be better off if we make decisions based on what’s good for all – myself and my neighbor – instead of simply looking at what I want or need to be to gain power.

Don’t you know the Divine, by whatever name you call out to – God, Allah, Yahweh –  weeps when we distort our created need for love and relationship into a scramble for wealth, power, and superiority?

During the turbulence of the 60’s and 70’s, a group called the Youngbloods recorded a song written by Dino Valenti. The pleading lyrics never grow old…

Love is but a song to sing
Fear’s the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Some may come and some may go
We shall surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now.

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand (listen!)
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command.

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Right now!
Right now!

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The happiness factor and Lucille van Pelt…

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Linda in choices, Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, relationships, Uncategorized

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choices, Community, compassion, happiness, human nature, love, Lucy, neighbor, relationship, Snoopy

We all try to find it. For some, it’s illusive. Happiness can seem to be about just a bit more money; one more designer bag; a bigger house; improved health; weight loss; a more perfect relationship; the next promotion; a desired job; a higher degree; living in the right neighborhood; less worries; and the list goes on. Each of us has a litany of what happiness is supposed to be.

The thing is, we have to look at what happiness actually is, not as some abstract concept defined by personal expectations of what life should offer.

I remember a conversation I was involved in several years ago. A group of mothers were asked what they wanted for their children’s lives. “Happiness” seemed to be the standard answer. However, when they were asked to define happiness, the conversation changed from one of confidence in their hopes for the future to conflicting descriptions of what it means to be happy. We all want happiness for those we love. The perception of that means takes on a variety of definitions.

Lucille van Pelt can teach us something amazing about happiness. You may know her simply as “Lucy”, the bitchy little girl who torments Charlie Brown, Linus and all the other Charles Schultz characters in the Peanut’s series. Lucy spends the majority of her time feeling put upon by the idiocy of the children who surround her in her family and her neighborhood. She gives demoralizing advice as a pseudo-psychiatrist, hoping to receive 5¢ per insult. She seems arrogant, callous and insensitive to anyone or anything who doesn’t buy into her brand of life. Yet, she is devastated when she is criticized for her poor behavior. People just don’t understand Lucy. Or, maybe we simply understand her too much…

You see, Lucy longs for life to be exactly as she wants it. The people around her are to behave according to her desires and she is supposed to have whatever she wants – whether it is approval, love or possessions. She shuns Snoopy, the dog, who fervently tries to kiss her and gain her affection, but is enamored with Schroeder, the piano player who barely knows she exists. Lucy isn’t interested in something or someone who cares about her. She is only interested in conquering what she does not have and what seems to be out of her grasp.

Yet, one day Lucy is found holding Snoopy in her arms. Can you feel it? The comic strip shows her arms are wrapped around that which finds her irresistible. If you read between the lines, you can resonate with her as she closes her eyes and smells the warmth and love emanating from Snoopy’s little body. Can you feel how soft his fur is beneath her fingers? Does your heart beat in agreement with hers as she gently whispers, “Happiness is a warm puppy.” In that instant Lucy learned that puppy kisses and devotion can take her to a place of complete harmony in a complex and often chaotic life, slowing time long enough for her to let go of her longing for a perfect future and actually see that all she ever wanted or needed was right in front of her. Happiness…

The Greek philosopher Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the aim and end of human existence.” Where do you find your meaning and purpose? What is the aim and the end of human existence? How one defines these things will determine how one finds happiness.

I know what I am about to say isn’t politically correct. And, I also know that there are sometimes when emotional issues are the result of physiological imbalances. Yet, I maintain that many of our societal problems are the result of self-centered attempts toward happiness, like Lucy’s, without considering that our happiness cannot exist in a family, community or nation that is filled with people who are also obsessed with their own personal happiness. As long as we look for self-fulfillment separate from compassion for the growth and wellbeing of others we are doomed to depression, obesity, anger, hostility, frustration, stress and a litany of other problems linked to happiness gone wrong. Abundance surrounds us, yet it is rarely enough because someone, somewhere has more. We strive for the elusive more, more and even MORE believing that we are entitled to happiness on our own terms and anyone or anything that thwarts our plans is wrong. Rarely do we see that warm puppy sitting there, waiting patiently for us to realize that we have all that we need…right in front of us.

God gave us some directives about happiness in the 10 Commandments. You know them: Love God; don’t try to create other Gods or false stories about God; take time for rest; don’t lie, steal, betray those who love you, murder, or long for something that isn’t yours. Jesus clarified the list when he said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)

The hard part is in recognizing what loving God and neighbor looks like. The quick answer is to look at what motivates us. Jesus had a way of answering complicated questions with direct answers. (Matthew 6:21)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Where is your treasure? Is it in loving God? Loving your neighbor? Social climbing? Wealth? Climbing ahead? Hugging warm puppies? Caring for and nurturing the ones around us? When we know what our treasure looks like, we cannot help but make all of our decisions within the framework of what our treasure means to us. If love, caring and compassion for our neighbor is our treasure, we will live as God intended for us to live. If gratitude for all that is right in front of us is part of our treasure, we will not feel entitled to something we don’t have. If we live out of jealousy, thinking that “things will be better when I have [fill in the blank]”, then happiness will be elusive and lead to living life less fully than we were created to live.

All I know for sure is warm puppy hugs can calm the chaos of striving long enough to contemplate the true source of happiness.

 

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Unexpected life lessons…

13 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by Linda in acceptance, Christianity, compassion, love, marriage, relationships

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acceptance, Christ, compassion, God, love, relationships

13078766-girl-walking-a-dog-in-park-in-spring-silhouette-layered-one-in-the-series-of-similar-imagesI wasn’t prepared for what I saw while walking with my dog this morning.

Walking Lucy can be an interesting endeavor. We have learned which houses have dogs that bark at us. She knows when to sachet that little golden-doodle backside of hers past them and when to immediately put me between her and the barkers. We visit every telephone pole and fire hydrant as if she is checking to see which old friends have or have not walked by recently. She has an affinity for zoysia grass, lowering her head like an anteater into the shaggy turf. She frequently squats to marks her territory and has taught me to carry several bags for – shall we say – elimination collection purposes. And, she inspects and investigates every new sound, weed, trash barrel, paper scrap and used Kleenex she comes across with excitement. They are all treasures to her. She doesn’t care if it is raining, sunny, humid, cold, steaming hot or snowing – she wants her walk. She is my work-out coach, letting me know that it’s time to pull my bones out of the house and hit the streets to check on life in our community.

This morning we came upon an elderly couple slowly walking hand in hand. As we got closer I saw the tall, somewhat hunched over gentleman wore a backpack with a transportable oxygen tank and hose. I assumed the tiny woman next to him was taking him for a walk as he recovered from, or endured, some illness or surgery. I put Lucy into “heel” to keep her from invading their space as we walked by. It was then that I noticed the oxygen hose was for the woman. The man was sharing his energy with her by carrying her oxygen on his back and holding her hand while they enjoyed a brief walk on a spectacularly beautiful morning. We exchanged a brief, “Good morning” and smile. Lucy and I kept up our moderate pace, however I spent the remainder of our walk thinking about marriage, partnership, compassion and what it truly means to love another person.

I don’t know if they were a married couple or not. My romanticized guess is that they have known each other for many years. Maybe they shared raising children, having barbecues and holiday celebrations. Maybe they took trips together, or went hiking, snorkeling, dancing or simply shared the day-to-day routine that weaves one’s soul into a beautiful tapestry with another. It’s also very possibly that they met recently, finding comfort and companionship in each other’s company while sharing stories about other loves, dreams and passions that defined their earlier lives.

It doesn’t actually matter what led them to the point they are currently living. What I do know is they have something deeply personal in whatever their relationship is during this chapter of their lives, he shares her burden and she accepts his compassion.

I guess that brings up some questions that should be the gauge we use for all of our relationships:

  • Are we there when our friends, children, family, neighbors or spouses need us?
  • Do we feel safe when they offer us help dealing with whatever burden we have been given?
  • Do we trust those around us enough to allow them the opportunity to hear our stories – even the ones we pretend never happened – and to still care for and about us in spite of where we have been and what we have done?
  • Are we willing to let someone walk with us, hand in hand, when we trudge through the muck of life?
  • And, are we there as completely for them?

I think of weddings I have been to where people are encouraged to have Christ at the center of their marriage as insulation against the relationship failing. For so many years I thought that simply meant they were supposed to share the same religious beliefs, go to church together and regularly remind themselves that they believe in God. Unfortunately, that superficial approach to marriage is a recipe for failure.

You see, to have Christ at the center of the marriage isn’t about what you say or even about what you do that others can see. Christ enters the marriage when partners trust the other one has their back no matter what. So it is, as well, for partnerships and friendships. Do the people around us feel trusting and at ease in our presence or are they on edge, unsure of what we will say or do? Who do you call for at 2:00 in the morning when the world starts to spin uncontrollably? Who can safely and trustingly call you?

Christ was like a magnet for the lonely, the disabled and the outcast without regard for socioeconomics, ethnicity and gender. His acceptance and compassion, even in the face of broken lives, always led to something exciting and new. The funny thing is, those who were arrogant, seeking power or immersed in their positions were threatened by his message of love. They couldn’t drop their fabricated personas long enough to look into his eyes and realize some things life lures us into just aren’t important.

Christ at the center means living as Christ showed us how to live. It isn’t about saying a certain prayer or following a litany of religious rules. As he said in, Matthew 22:36-40:

 ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul and all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commands hang all the law and the prophets.’

God, the author of love, loved the world so much that God sent Jesus to show us how to live as God created us to live. In turn, Jesus loved God and humankind so much that all of his actions were based on those loves.

So, back to relationships, partnerships and marriage…if we live life as Christ modeled life for us, we, too, will love the one who created us and we will love those around us. Another way of reading this is to say we will respect that God created each and every one of us as only God can, full of goodness. When we let that goodness shine, we will be kind, compassionate, loving and trustworthy to all we encounter in our daily lives. That includes our spouses, partners or companions.

You see, relationships don’t end when the behaviors Christ modeled for us are present. Those are the things that draw people together to grow and live life as God intended for us to life it. It’s when selfishness and personal gain become the reason for the relationship that it fails.

The elderly couple knew it. Oh, I’m sure they have had their moments of conflict and frustration. But, they also seemed know how to carry each other’s burdens so completely and with so much trust, that nothing could come between what they had for each other.

And so it is for all of us, by living life compassionately sharing God’s loving ways, as modeled to us by Christ, at the center of our relationships, we have a tangible a plan to use as a guide for our interactions, behaviors and attitudes toward each other.

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Jesus and politics…

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by Linda in choices, Christianity, compassion, love, political correctness, relationships, Responsibility, Uncategorized

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choices, Christ, Christianity, Community, compassion, human nature, political correctness, relationship, responsibility

I am sick to death of books, articles and comments that draw conclusions about God, Jesus and politics. Just today I saw a blog titled, “How would Jesus vote?” In my humble perspective, the two words “Jesus” and “vote” don’t belong in the same sentence. Nor do “God” and “politics”. Further, I take offense at writers who maintain someone’s faith is questionable if they don’t agree with the political slant of the writer. Good grief! Who are they to judge??? It is simply another form of religious bullying.

Let me explain.

How we live our lives matter. What is the right thing for one person to do might be the wrong thing for another. In Wesleyan theology, the term for this is, “the intention of the heart”. In common vernacular one might say, “what were you thinking when you did what you did?” In other words, the rationale behind our behaviors is what makes them the right or the wrong thing to do. If I take food to an elderly neighbor because I am hoping it will be noticed by the other neighbors and…let’s be honest…by God, I am doing the right thing for all of the wrong reasons. However, if I know my neighbor needs help and I offer that help simply because they need it with no strings or hopes for personal gain attached, I am doing the right thing for the right reasons. What motivated my actions? What was the intention of my heart?

I have a hard time seeing Jesus as a political activist. Instead, he modeled right behavior through the actions of his life. He attempted to change legalisms that prevented caring for others even when it wasn’t convenient or considered to be ‘right’. Take for example healing on the Sabbath. Jesus put relationship and compassion above following the rabbinical laws. Yes, these were religious laws as opposed to governmental decrees, yet they were powerful and offenders were subject to serious consequences, including death. It’s hard for those of us living in Western Civilization cultures to understand the magnitude of the ancient religious laws. We talk about our religious traditions, some of which impose excommunication for those who choose not to recognize them. Yet, at the end of the day, we do not fear prosecution if we act outside of those traditions.

We also see liberal and conservative religions making claims that are diametrically opposed, claiming God’s sanction for opposing perspectives. Consider the abortion issue. One side claims it is a mortal sin and seeks compassion for the unborn while the other side seeks empathy for situational crises and the need to show compassion for the mother. Who is right? Who is following God? I would wager neither and both.

You see, our faith doesn’t come in a neat little package. For every law that is passed, we can find a person or group of people that the law oppresses. That’s because life is messy and no law or series of laws can address situational peculiarities. Some laws that are intended to offer compassion to groups of people unintentionally, yet actually, withdraw compassion from others. Certain groups become ‘politically correct’ in their approach in one decade and 10 – 15 – 20 years later they are recognized as oppressors to the rights of others.

Think of the low fat diet craze of the 1980’s and 1990’s. Saturated fats were on the dietary hit list. We were encouraged to substitute trans fats for saturated fats. Some products limited fat all together but added high fructose corn syrup to make up for the bland taste when the fats were removed. Now, with additional studies, we understand that trans fats and high fructose corn syrup are not good for us. Some studies even report that we need saturated fats in our diets! The balance has to come from knowing something about health and nutrition and making wise choices based on that knowledge. It might involve getting to know a respected dietitian or nutritionist and visualizing them whispering in our ear as we navigate the grocery store or a restaurant’s menu. What would they do when confronted with a minefield of choices? Their advice would be given through the lens of knowing what nutrients promote healthy living.

I believe Jesus offered us the same kind of guidance. To follow Christ and the life he modeled is to consider all things through the lens of compassion, justice, mercy and love particular to a situation. It isn’t about governmental laws forcing us to make certain choices. It’s about our own hearts and what we are thinking as we stumble through life. And, it’s about allowing the still, quiet voice of Jesus to stir our conscious into right action.

Yes, we need governments to manage some things and that requires laws. John F. Kennedy aptly stated, “law alone can not make a man do right.” The bigger picture is personal responsibility and owning our shared responsibility for those who need a hand. It isn’t simply the rich handing over resources to the poor for that helps neither live within the fullness God intended for all of us in creation. Nor is it ignoring human need whether that need is for friendship, food, healthcare, dignity, education, housing, love, trust, justice and the list goes on. The thing is, the list does not have socioeconomic boundaries. Human need is present in palaces and slums; in rich nations and impoverished countries; in churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples. All we have to do is look around us and we will find it.

So, what does that have to do with voting? Actually, nothing. It has everything to do with each of us as individuals living life as God intended for us to live. You know, loving God with all of our heart, our mind and our spirit and loving our neighbors as ourselves. It isn’t about imposing our will on others, rather it is seeing our neighbors’ need and responding to it as we are able.

Jesus never forced his will on anyone, either through religious condemnation or the power of law. He did teach us to do what is right through the beautiful lens of compassion, mercy, justice and love. Of course, we all attach our own meanings to these words. Therein lies a problem. Yet, if we strive to balance these components and use them as guides, we won’t be too wrong. And, when we simply don’t know what to do, humble prayer and meditation help us find the still, quiet voice and reason of God to help us along the way.

 

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On humility and arrogance and pizza crust…

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by Linda in human nature, love, relationships, Responsibility, spirituality, Uncategorized

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arrogance, Christ, Christianity, Community, human nature, humility, relationship, responsibility, spirituality

imagesIt is actually quite fascinating to research the word “humility”. The definition ranges anywhere from a secular notion of being shy and timid to a theological perspective of understanding one’s self in relation to creation. Maybe that’s why the word is seldom used in conversation. It’s hard to know what meaning to assign to it!

Arrogance is quite the opposite. Definitions vary slightly in wording, but the general concept is someone who believes they are better, smarter or more important than another individual. Ouch! Who hasn’t fallen in this category at some time or another? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that advocates such self-promoting attitudes. Whose parent hasn’t bragged about one’s athletic, dance, acting and/or musical abilities or intellectual successes as something that makes them some how superior to others? You see, it was difficult to decide what word to use there. “Whose parent…” puts the emphasis on the offspring who grow up believing they are better or smarter and ultimately more important than the unfortunate kid down the block, in another school, from the wrong part of town, or cursed with the wrong family. If I had said, “What parent…” the responsibility for the better, smarter, more important attitude belongs to the supposed adult in the situation. Either way, arrogance is not only learned, but it is often supported by the words or modeled behavior of those in authority around us as the good and normal way to see the world.

Wait! What!?! Where did the “see the world” part come from? Isn’t that a stretch from “better, smarter and more important?” Nope. It is the direct result of how one sees oneself. Like, what eyes are you looking through? What is the lens of your worldview? How do you see yourself, whether its based on gender, race, skills and talents, a bulging bank account, or a myriad of other criteria, compared to others?

We have a lot of words ending in “ism” that speak to worldview…racism, socialism, communism, fascism, absolutism, illusionism, separatism, capitalism, consumerism, monotheism, pacifism, narcissism, and the list goes on. The problem is, we either cling to our “ism” for the exclusive group we think it allows us to belong to and where that puts us in relation to the rest of humanity, or we resent the “ism” because it categorizes us in a way we perceive as negative and not good enough when compared to the next guy. Either way, we tend to think our “ism” is the result of our being better, smarter and more important…than the others around us. That, my friends, is arrogance – a condition we all share to a certain degree.

As I am writing this, I am making pizza crusts. I make exceptionally good pizza crust. They aren’t the best pizza crusts ever, but they are definitely in the awesome category. I use a sourdough recipe that I also use for baguettes. By replacing some of the white flower with whole wheat, pumpernickel or cornmeal, I can make a variety of breads or bagels. Adding nuts, spices, herbs or dried fruit increases the number of possibilities from simple pizza crust and baguettes to seasonal, ethnic or artisan breads, rolls, pastries, and crackers. You see, to limit the life of my sourdough to pizza crust would prevent experiencing so many remarkable flavors – flavors that speak to emotions in indescribable ways. The butter dripping from a piece of limpa rye reminds me of my Scandinavian ancestors while a week old dry crust reminds me that not everyone has access to fresh, healthy food and water. Additionally, recognizing that others are incredibly gifted with wonderful abilities doesn’t negate the fact that my pizza crust is really, really good; rather it reminds me that others are equally adept at the things they are good at and if we all work together we can make a pretty spectacular meal, incorporating that which we all have to offer while not being limited to or by any one set of talents.

The Apostle Paul said it much more clearly in Romans 12:3-8

 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

You see, arrogance causes us to forget we are part of something bigger than we are. It limits our ability to see the gifts and talents of those around us, denying us all the opportunity to live and grow together.

Which brings us back to humility. To be shy and timid isn’t the same as being humble, or living with humility. Neither is humility the act of self-deprecation. These traits can actually prevent one from living into the gifts and talents Paul spoke of. Rather, to live humbly…or to live with humility…is to recognize the amazing gifts and talents God has given not only to you but also to others and to celebrate these gifts as necessary parts for the wholeness of living. In the Gospels Christ taught us both verbally and through living his life what whole living looks like – to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. To love God means that we not only love God, but we also love all of the sons and daughters who, like us, have been carefully designed by God to complete a piece of the wholeness of creation.

We aren’t created to be better, smarter or more important than anyone or anything. We must remember who we are and Whose we are. Eugene Peterson’s translation of Micah 6:8 in The Message states it well:

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

Humility…the art of recognizing ones place in creation. Our challenge is to live into the essence of who we were created to be while remembering that every person who has ever lived, who is living now or who is to come is just as special to God as we are. Arrogance limits how we see others and ourselves. We can only find the freedom to live wholly and completely in humility.

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Responsibility and our ability to respond…

02 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by Linda in choices, Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, Responsibility

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One of the greatest gifts we can give to the next generation is the art of being responsible citizens. Okay…easy enough to say, but in actuality, what does it mean? I guess we could talk about financial independence, but we all know there are times when life happens in spite of our best efforts to plan ahead. We might think the conversation should be about relationships and how to make them work. Unfortunately, it takes more than one person’s behavior for relational success. If we teach our children to get along no matter what, we are setting them up to be doormats. Conversely, if we teach them to always stand up for themselves, we are guiding them into a life filled with frustration or one spent alone simply because they lack the capacity to listen to a perspective foreign to their own.  Maybe a responsible citizen has an amazing job that fulfills their passion in life…until the corporation makes necessary cuts and the job no longer exists. What if we encourage a college degree – or several – and employment for professionals in their field declines faster than the need for slide rules, pocket protectors and 8 track tapes? 

Life doesn’t always happen the way we expect or want it to. That can be a good thing! Surprising events, twists and turns can lead to fabulous adventures we couldn’t begin to imagine. They can also freeze us in a place we never expected to be in and don’t know how to navigate. Yet, as rhythmically as day follows night, we find we must move through the interesting and/or lousy times…with responsibility.

The English language is a crazy thing. Like, who decides when to use an “i” rather than an ‘a’? You know, if the “bile” in responsible just had an “a” instead of the “i” it might be easier to understand. We can wrap our brains around someone being response-able much easier than define what responsible means in general terms. It’s much the same with responsibility and response-ability. The hyphenated words that use the letter “a” call us to recognize when a situation needs our active response. It becomes a statement of “I recognize something needs to be done about a situation”; followed by “What can I to do?” It propels the “response” words into a place where importance is placed on seeing a need and taking action to affect whatever it is that seems to stand in the way of improving said issue.

In all reality, it’s about recognizing when a response is needed and how we decide what that response might look like. This is where a thorough understanding of Christ’s message to us in the Gospels is important. You see, our purely human response to life’s issues can come from a place of frustration, pain, envy, craving for abundance, anger, laziness, and a litany of other less than optimal emotions. Jesus’ days were spent embodying and modeling a response pattern that covered all situations. Everything he did was done out of love, compassion, justice and mercy. 

Let me digress for a moment here. The unfortunate consequence of Bible study and Bible knowledge is that we think there are rules for how to respond, counsel, interact and even party. Some might refer to them as legalisms as defined by the church. But, isn’t it odd that all Christian churches use the same Gospel messages yet they have different rules for living? I mean, some churches ordain women and some won’t even let them pass a plate for the offering; some churches believe the way to control the masses is to excommunicate those who have blatantly ‘sinned’ while others embrace the person as they navigate a difficult time; some have rules about clothing, facial hair, jewelry and entertainment like dancing, movies and gambling while others find these to be unimportant sidebars on the faith walk; and some insist the Eucharist must include a good red wine while others mandate the use of grape juice. There are so many “rules” derived from the same ancient text that it makes scripture messy and difficult to understand. Maybe we are focused on the wrong things.

I attended a conservative seminary. Of course smoking was on the list of “sinful” behaviors. Being an older, somewhat seasoned and irreverent student, I asked one of the young-pups about the smoking rule. No, I don’t smoke, but I was curious why this particular activity was considered sinful. Sin is a pretty big deal in all world religions and we must be careful how we throw the word and concept around.  He carefully explained to me that smoking is bad for your body and, after all, your body is the Lord’s temple. I asked him when he last consumed fast food or denied himself a full night’s sleep. As he walked away with a perplexed expression, I wondered if it was because of my apparent thick headedness or because he suddenly realized sin, like life, doesn’t come in shades of black and white. Legalisms can be followed to the letter and still be the absolute wrong thing to do. We have to think in terms of why we do what we do. What is our intent…or, to use some theological jargon, what is the intention of the heart? Like Jesus, our actions must be framed in love, compassion, justice and mercy. The right-looking thing done for the wrong heartfelt intentions has nothing to do with Christ’s Gospel message just as defiance against church rules is a Christian response when those rules preempt the ability to act out of love, compassion, justice and mercy. 

This brings us back to responsible and responsibility. How we respond will depend on the situation in question. Then, we must determine if we are able to response and what response is right. 

Personally, I would do well with God sending me a text message, a quick email or even a loud directive through a bullhorn when I am compelled to respond to something. Instead, God has given us scripture and the loving and living example of Christ’s walk among us. God’s call to me is to pause, remember who I am and Whose I am as well as remember God created all things and all people – even the ones I erroneously think might have been a big mistake with a capitol “B” – and because God is the creator of all, I am to treat all with love, compassion, justice and mercy. Period. One piece without the other three doesn’t work. They must be in balance. With love, compassion, justice and mercy as our lens we will see that which requires our response, we will determine whether or not we are able to respond and we will respond within our own unique talents and ability.  

In Isaiah 6:8 God asks the question, “Who shall I send. Isaiah’s response was “Here am I, Lord. Send me.” 

I love his response! It’s plain, simple, to the point. What if we were all so willing to respond? Further, imagine what this crazy planet would look like if we used Christ’s model of love, compassion, justice and mercy as our guide while navigating life in God’s world, keeping it at our core as we determine our personal response-ability as a response-able person? 

Imagine…

 

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Sabbath rules and chocolate cake…

22 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by Linda in Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, relationships, Sabbath, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, relationship, religion, sabbath, Sabbath rest, spirituality

imagesThe concept of Sabbath rest has all but disappeared. Maybe it’s our fast-paced culture with competitive deadlines for everything from work goals and preparations to how many times we work out in a week to when the youngest child is officially potty trained and at what age our children learn to read, play the piano, get admitted to college…with a full ride scholarship…or create the next Nobel prize winning solution for sustainable energy. We jump on the treadmill of life and think we are riding it to fulfillment. Yet, something seems to be missing. Maybe we just need to try harder – one more class, one more private lesson, one more camp, lecture, hour at work, pound lost, and the list goes on to infinitude…another purse, a new car, membership at the club, a promotion, partnership…

There doesn’t seem to be time to rest!

Another group of people become enslaved by something they call Sabbath. It begins with some form of worship, which is good! The problem is, it threads through a day governed with “you must not” decrees. “You must not work.” “You must not play sports.” “You must not shop.” “You must not cook, clean, mow the lawn or wash the car.” Troubling questions about the “you must not’s” include, if I go to dinner at a restaurant, am I forcing someone else to sin because it means they are working on the Sabbath? Or, what do I tell my son or daughter’s soccer team when they have a game or, worse yet, a tournament on the Sabbath? What if the Sabbath is the only day of the week I have to run errands, buy groceries, do laundry and plan for the upcoming week? What if I have to work on the Sabbath? It’s as if the religious rules for the Sabbath squelch emotional relaxation rather than secure the intended outcome of renewing and refreshing human life.

The problem might be in how we recognize and practice Sabbath rest.

Mark 2:27-28 has been batted around for years as a key to understanding what the Sabbath is all about.

Then he said to them, ‘The Sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the sabbath; so the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.’

It’s all good until the last part. At face value, it sounds like we can do whatever we want to do on the Sabbath because it’s made for humankind! But, like much of scripture, it becomes a bit naggy and hard to understand. What does it mean to say “the Son of Man is Lord…even of the Sabbath?” The key can be found in the verses right before, where the Christ and the disciples glean some grain from a field because they were hungry, and the verses following when Christ healed a man’s withered hand. So what gives with that? We can garden and heal on the Sabbath? But nothing else? Jesus, lord of the Sabbath, let us know that stuff happens…even on the Sabbath…and deep human compassion comes before human devised strict rules

Maybe if we go back to the instructions given to the Israelites in Exodus 20:8 about the Sabbath we can find another clue.

Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.

Yes, this is the 4th of the 10 Commandments. It is a bridge between the first 3, which speak about our relationship with God and the final 6 which guide us in family, business, neighbor, friend and all human relationships. There is something here…something that is essential for living as God created us to live in the world that God created for us to live in.

Tripping even further back in scripture we find the stories of creation in Genesis 1:1-2:3, which narrates a 7-day account of creation, and Genesis 2:4-25, which focuses on humanity’s creation. Keep in mind; these are creation stories – not historical accounts. They were designed to let the listeners or readers know that God created the earth, plants, animals and people. God saw that all these things were good and then sat back and rested after such frenzied activity.

So, where does that leave us in our 21st century lives?

Sometimes we simply have to take a break from the routine of life. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job or something fun – we need a break from it. That break time has a purpose. Some of that time should be spent in meditation, worship, prayer or whatever it is that keeps us mindful that God is here, with us, alive and present in all things. Read that again…here, with us, alive and present in all things. God isn’t distant and contained in some ambiguous place above the clouds. God is here, with us, alive and present in all things. When we pause, we need to recognize and celebrate that presence in each other, in nature, in our pets, our employees, our bosses, our teammates, our neighbors, our relatives and our own hearts. It’s looking at the pause as time to remember and find ways to enact the entirety of the 10 Commandments as loving God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves. Whose are we and how do we live once we embrace God (Jesus) as Lord?

Okay, it can all seem like theological rhetoric, but what does the Sabbath pause actually mean in our lives today?

Everything, even the good stuff, can get old if we saturate our lives with it. I call it the chocolate cake theory simply because I LOVE chocolate cake. However, if I ate chocolate cake every day it would become routine and unappreciated; dull and somewhat boring. I could dress it up with ice cream, which would make it appealing for a day or two. Or, add a ganache topping, some whipped cream and a cherry. I can keep busy making my chocolate cake better and better with more and more and more…or I could pause and remember why I like chocolate cake. You see, for me chocolate cake reminds me of being a child and enjoying a family celebration. I remember rooms filled with love and laughter as family members shared stories and the rich history of who we are and from whom we came from. It is those kinds of memories that thread through and impact all that we do if we simply take the time to reflect and remember. When we forget to pause, we go on autopilot and forget the essence of why we do what we do…the who we are and Whose we are concept.

I can certainly go back to chocolate cake after the pause, but maybe this time I will see it differently. I might share it with someone who needs a gentle bit of encouragement or who is grieving a loss. Maybe I’ll share it with a friend who is celebrating a wonderful event. I might take a piece to the neighbor who is alone and struggling with life. You see, the memories of why I love chocolate cake become as important as the cake itself, but only if I take the time to remember.

I don’t know if it is right or wrong to work, shop, or play sports on the sabbath. I do know if we pause and remember that God is love, that love will guide us in all we do making the specifics a moot point.

For those of you following Sophia Meditations, you know that I haven’t written my weekly blog for some time now. You see, I needed a pause to refresh, renew and remember. Now, it’s time to have some chocolate cake!

 

 

 

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Marriage, Puppies, and Unconditional Love…

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by Linda in compassion, human nature, love, marriage, spirituality

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, marriage, Maya Angelou, relationship, spirituality

imagesRelationships can be pretty darn hard. After almost 3 decades of marriage, there are still days when I wonder what in the world my husband is thinking. Of course, even though I frequently choose not to admit it, he has similar thoughts about me. It is an interesting phenomenon to think about, particularly as the wedding-season is approaching. I mean, what do you tell young people as they look at you with starry eyes and ask the rhetorical question, “How do you make a marriage last?” The first thing I typically think is that I am being patronized because of my age. You know, ask the old queen an easy question so she can preserve whatever brainpower she has left. Then, my thoughts move to questioning the intent of the question. Is this soon-to-be young bride or groom seriously wondering about maintaining the health of their relationship or do they want reassurance that their partnership is special and immune from dissolving into frustration, arguing and potentially divorce?

There are many people I know, including my husband and myself, that have had what we now fondly refer to as our “starter marriages”. These unions began with optimism about what life should be after the I-do’s, but can’t withstand the realities that present themselves as life moves on. Some are doomed from the start simply because of unrealistic expectations. You know, things like, “It will be better when we are married,” or “I am ___ years old and it’s time for me to settle down”. Some marriages expire when one party or the other realizes they were in love with what they wanted the other person to be rather than to clearly see who they are. Still others end because our culture is not very good at making things work. There seems to be a belief that if a relationship is hard, it’s not meant to be.

Allow me to sidebar at this point. Some marriages are not meant to be! Substance and/or physical and emotional abuse are deal killers. When they occur, the relationship is over. There are some amazingly strong people who can rise beyond their behaviors and addictions with professional help. These individuals have my utmost respect.

So, what makes a marriage last? Go to any wedding shower and you will find sage advice woven into the conversation or, more obtrusively, written on cards that are presented with high hopes to the young couple. Honestly, to tell them to be open and honest at all times and to never go to bed angry sound good. But, how long do those virtues continue after the “I do’s”? “Open and honest” is well and good until the first bad haircut or the pants that actually do make one’s backside appear larger than normal. How about “open and honest” when the in-laws are coming for an extended visit? Or after making an expensive, special, time involved dinner that tastes like cardboard? How open should one actually be? Honesty is vital, but what happens when it falls in the category of being brutal?

Then we have the concept of never going to bed angry. Really? As if anything is actually accomplished in the midst of fatigue after a long, frustrating day when all one really wants to do is go to sleep? In theory, rest and sleep are better when stress is minimal, but the reality is there will be times when it takes more than a day or two to resolve some issues. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. It simply means there is something big in the way and it will take some pondering, soul searching, introspection, prayer and, possibly, professional help to come out on the other side of it. Like the other difficulties we face in life, these times can be catalysts for growth and deepening our understanding of who we are – both as individuals and as partners.

Again, what makes a marriage last? It took some years to figure this one out. The funny thing is, it is not as complicated as we try to make it. Maya Angelou phrased it beautifully in her famous quote:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Herein lies the key. It’s not about the money or the children. It doesn’t matter if the house is big or small or if the car is new or old. Nor does it matter if one partner or the other travels 5 days a week or works long hours. What does matter is that in the midst of life, both people feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe. I guess that’s where open and honest fit in. Beautiful words and gestures mean nothing if they aren’t believable. But, when they are backed up by complete honesty, they are cupid’s arrow to the heart. Love begins and renews itself over and over again.

The thing is, this mantra doesn’t work only in marriage. It is important in the workforce, at school, with our children or in any other interaction we have. We avoid the people who make us feel inferior, stupid, naive, or incapable, yet we migrate toward those who encourage, praise, admire or complement our actions. We long to be acceptable and accepted.

I think that’s why I love my dog so much. It doesn’t matter what mood I am in, how unorganized or crazy I feel, if I have dressed up for the day or if I am schlunking around the house in pajamas. She offers me the gift of unconditional love. Because of that, I can forget that she gnawed on the dining room rug, (it’s been replaced), or had her way with a little used chair, (the upholsterer is coming to pick it up one of these days). What I do remember is that she is always glad to see me and share her tail wags and puppy kisses.

You see, I believe God is the same way. God will love me always – in spite of my moods, my outbursts, and every personality wart that makes me…well, ME. To know and recognize God’s unconditional love allows me to chisel away at my more negative side and let the good shine through just a little more. God’s love makes me feel a little safer, a bit calmer…and the list goes on.

So, what about marriage? What makes a marriage last? In my opinion, the cryptic answer is embedded in knowing puppies, God and the wisdom of Maya Angelou.

Maybe we should expand on the statement, “I do” and make it “I do intend to make you feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe every day of my life and if I don’t, I am counting on you to love me unconditionally until I do again.”

That should come right before, “And I promise to always pick up my socks.”

 

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Community Outrage and the game called “Mousetrap”…

14 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by Linda in hate, human nature, Lenten Meditaion, love, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

compassion, difficult times, hate, Lenten Meditation, religion, responsibility, spirituality

ImageMy brother and I thoroughly enjoyed the game Mousetrap when we were children. So much so, I tracked it down for my kids when they were the right age. I think it’s still in the attic…somewhere. Which reminds me, I could certainly spend some quality time cleaning the attic…and basement…and garage…not to mention several closets. But, that’s a different topic for another time.

My recollection of Mousetrap came about this morning while I was brushing my teeth and thinking about my daily first cup of coffee. Those simple activities were overshadowed, however, by the sorrow clouding the morning. Snow, although unusual for this late in the spring, seemed entirely appropriate today. Its chilling presence was consistent with the knowledge that yet another shooting occurred and threw a community into unrelenting agony. This time an innocent adolescent, his grandfather and a woman were murdered simply because they were in buildings with Jewish ties. None of them were Jewish, by the way. Neither were many of the other people who were there. These buildings and the people who built and administered them welcomed everyone who came in peace to enjoy what they had to offer. Some came for the arts; some to work out or compete in friendly competitions; some were there for health care or retirement living. Their commonality? All are God’s children. Period. Plain and simple, yet it’s all that actually matters. Not their collective theology, ethnicity, socioeconomic level, favorite color or the kind of dog they happen to have. All of them – even the shooter.

Our game of Mousetrap consisted of building a simple machine designed to catch a mouse in the overly engineered Rube Goldberg fashion. Once the structure was completed, a series of amusing chain reactions – including an old boot kicking a ball which fell from a tower into a bathtub causing the tub to tip making the ball roll into a stick that caused a vibration making the trap fall – resulted in catching a mouse shaped marker on the game board. It was a silly, childhood game that taught us about cause and effect, much like building a domino structure. If everything lines up in the right way, one event will cause all of the tiles to methodically fall. The community of game pieces moved together…standing and falling through the course of events, interacting with each other as they careened toward their final movement.

Yesterday’s event was yet another in a series of violent attacks on groups of innocent people. The list is infinite. When did it start? When will it end? We try to blame guns, as if inanimate objects are capable of brainwashing the individuals in possession of them. Knives, pressure cookers, nails, fertilizer and a litany of everyday products have also been in the news as tools utilized in mass destruction. I suspect everything we know of can be used for either good or evil. Maybe it’s actually us – humanity – at the root of this epidemic of violence and slaughter. Maybe we have come to a place where we must scrutinize who we are and have become as a society to find a realistic blame and subsequent fix for these events.

Yesterday’s shooter is reported to be a retired Army veteran – a Green Beret, no less! This is a man who served during the turbulent era of Vietnam, peace demonstrations, and hippies. He spent the next decades absorbing himself with hate groups and the idea of white supremacy, although hate isn’t simply a factor of skin color nor does it mean caucasians have a corner on the hate market. But then, I digress again. The point is, what happened to him? What series of domino events tumbled through his life to bring him to this final, hellish event? How did hate replace the respect for liberty and freedom that he pledged to represented during his military career? Or, did his hate for people who looked and thought differently than he did motivate his actions even then?

You see, I believe that if we weep for the victims, we must also weep for the accused. Something is going on in our society that produces the perfect storm of hate, anger, hostility and warped idealism that nurtures the distorted perspective embraced by some that these actions are somehow appropriate. No, the average citizen doesn’t condone such cowardly violence. In spite of that, the frequency of these events is gaining momentum.

It brings me back to cause and effect. We live in a “live and let live” culture where “I’m okay and you’re okay”. We turn away from a neighbor who seems odd or weird and let them “do their own thing”. We find reasons for every behavior whether it’s a disability, a life event, a poor parent or a disadvantaged childhood. There is even a new condition called “affluenza” which the book Affluenza: The All-Consuming Epidemic defines it as “a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety, and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more.” Seriously? Why not call it what it is? Greed! But, no, instead of burdening an individual with personal responsibility, we find reasons for inappropriate, unreasonable, wrong behaviors as if by giving someone excuses it will help them find a better way. This is nothing more than enabling some to continue to live as if nothing but their personal issues, beliefs and desires are the only things that matter. Unfortunately, self-absorbed conduct builds on itself. Most of the enabled will live relatively calm lives driven by their narcissistic tendencies. Others will grow increasingly dissatisfied with their perspective of what is wrong with the world. A few, when the dominos of their life experiences line up just right, will justify hideous actions as if they were doing the right thing.

Our response is to mourn the loss of innocent life and exterminate what we blame as the cause, whether it is a person or a thing. It is much more difficult to reflect on who we have become as a society that these heinous events continue to happen. Maybe we need to stop categorizing people with absurd generalizations that are intended to apply to the entire group whether we are referring to religion, politics, ethnicity, socioeconomics, school we attend and/or favorite flavor of ice cream. It’s as if the us-and-them mentality should be a rule for choosing our friends and targeting our enemies.

But, God had something else in mind for us. Jesus, who was betrayed by a friend and murdered by those who didn’t understand him and therefore hated him, never deviated from his message of compassion for all of humanity. It wasn’t limited to his religious tradition, his gender, his geographical home or his family. No, he didn’t condone poor behavior or chalk it up to the result of a difficult life. He stretched people to be all that they could be. He healed physical, emotional and behavioral scars through love and compassion and challenged those who were touched by him to live as he did loving and serving the world around him.

Hate, on the other hand, will eat away at someone until something awful happens. No, it won’t always be mass killings. But, we might do or say something that hurts another person so deeply that they begin to hate, too. Or, we might be the role model to a fragile mind that accepts our justification of prejudice towards a targeted group of others. The dominos start to set-up. The next person might influence another and pretty soon universal traits of an individual in a group become some sort of crazy factual norm. Like, my blond hair makes me intellectually inferior or my political views make me a hater. Neither of which are true. But, to the ‘other’ who doesn’t know me as a person, the generalizations become who I am in their mind and they hate me for it. Another domino…

I wonder about yesterday’s shooter, as I do the boy with a knife in Pennsylvania and the Boston Marathon bombers. I wonder about Judas and Pilate and Herod. I wonder about Mother Theresa and Francis of Assisi. I wonder about Hitler and Stalin. I wonder about my neighbors and what joys and pains they face. I wonder about hope and care and compassion and crime. I wonder about greed and responsibility and whether or not the frost tonight will affect the blooms of spring. Each of these things can become the cause and effect for good or for evil. When I turn the crank, will the mousetrap fall? Or will one slight alteration in the course of events change the outcome?

Our community is shocked and in mourning. May we rise up from this outrage with eyes so open that we recognize where we can change hate into something that looks a lot like love and compassion. As our arms open to those who grieve the loss of a loved one, may we also examine our own hearts to realize where we, too, bear responsibility for the atrocities we experience in life.

 

 

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The death of a man…

22 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Linda in choices, compassion, hate, human nature, Lenten Meditaion, love, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

compassion, Fred Phelps, hate, human nature, Lenten Meditation, love

I clearly recall the day I saw the gathering on the sidewalk. Several police officers were stationed on the opposite side of the street watching the men, women and children who held pickets splattered with messages depicting a belief that it is somehow God’s will for anyone who doesn’t fit within a narrow spectrum of behavior to die a horrible and painful death. Furthermore, if we show any love or compassion for their targeted population, we should share the same vengeful fate. Additionally, our national acceptance of all people is in jeopardy as proven when our military men and women die while defending, amongst other things, our right to speak as viciously as this famous group of people who erroneously call themselves a ‘church’, ‘believers in God’, and, I choke on the word, ‘Christians’.

It was all I could do to keep from driving onto the walkway to permanently silence them. How could they infect children with this distorted perception of God and how God feels about humanity? Children are born beautifully open to people of all colors, religions, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and abilities. They can only enter the box of prejudice with instruction from the adults they look up to. This group of adults damages the innocence of their children as they attacked people unknown to them, an attack generated simply because they did not share the group’s distorted religious beliefs. The day I saw them, they stood in front of a building that served Jewish believers on Saturday and offered Christian services on Sunday. It wasn’t their traditional venue of tormenting grieving families at military funerals; yet, it exemplified their perverted position that God sees life the way they see it.

Then it happened. Their patriarch and church founder died. His passing has permeated not only the news, but also clutters social media sites and seems to be the topic of choice for many, like myself, who write or preach about spiritual matters. I didn’t intend to write about his passing. But, it has been gnawing at me. The thing is, I like to think I’m not writing about his life; rather I am meditating on how his life has affected our society. The only significance I find in his life and death is in the overall goodness of society and the pervasive attitude that we must never stoop to his level of hate. News reports and social media comments share a general message of compassion for his family as they mourn their loss. A few have threatened to picket his funeral just as he did to others. But, each of these remarks have been met with reminders of a loving God and encouragement to show the family compassion. Even the church I mentioned above had a message in their signage asking for peace as he enters eternity.

What I see in all of this is God’s hand. God was in the crowds who created barriers at gravesides to protect grieving families from their venom. God is present in the goodness and peaceful wishes extended to his family as they grieve. God is in every heart that weeps for this man and the life he lived never knowing the love and grace God extends to all. God himself (herself?) probably weeps with intense sadness that this man, God’s beloved, never knew the joy God showered around him throughout his life. He only knew the deity of hate he created in his mind to support his fears and prejudices about people who were not like him.

The problem is, this man is not totally unlike us. His example is of a life lived without compassion. Yet, we have the potential to live in his world when it is convenient for us. We claim we would never teach a child to hate, but what are we doing to teach them to love? What do we teach them when we are angry with someone and rant about that person’s less desirable characteristics? What if those attributes include an ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or disabilities that the child transfers to all people with those traits? Further, we think we would never stand in the midst of another’s grief and shout scathing epitaphs about their loved one deserving to die. Yet, we might find ourselves unwilling to forgive someone who has wronged us and secretly hope they experience pain.

I like to think I live out of compassion for all of God’s creation. Yet, I am sure there are times when God shakes his (her) head at my choices. My prayer is that as I continue to navigate this crazy thing called “life”, I grow increasingly aware of God’s love and presence in all things…so aware that I have no choice but to make the right choice.

As for you Mr. Phelps, I believe in the power of God’s love. It is because of that belief, I pray you will rest in peace, finally knowing yourself as God’s beloved, fully aware of the pain your hate rendered and equally conscience of the incredible mercy God shared with you when God called you home.

Epilogue: The family of the man picketed again last night. On the other side of the street was a group of people with a single banner that read, “We are sorry for your loss.” Some hear God’s gentle nudge to meet hate with compassion and some are deafened by the noise of their own prejudice. Most of us fall somewhere in between…

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