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Category Archives: hate

Stop it!

29 Monday Oct 2018

Posted by Linda in acceptance, Christianity, community, compassion, hate, judgment, political correctness, relationships

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Community, compassion, relationships

My theological brain is about to explode! The cause? The vitriolic rhetoric relentlessly espoused that promotes the divisive climate so prevalent in our country today. We are about as united as the proverbial oil and vinegar with each side claiming moral superiority. We are divided into social units based on how we look; who we love; our gender identity; our age; socioeconomics; neighborhoods; schools; sports team allegiance; where we work, pray and play; what we think is the best breed of dog or if we think cats are the better pet. We point fingers at those who vote differently than we do, as if ‘the other’ has no business being a voice in our country. We divide along lines of plastic or paper (paper, please…); if you want a turtle-killing-straw with that iced tea (yes, please…); or what we think about gun control. We politicize mental illness…the senseless, crazy kind that kills in a twisted, sick, fucked-up need to be immortalized for murder. The left points fingers at the right and the right points right back as if to say, “You did this…not me!” when we certainly are all at fault.

We use our sacred writings as a means to convey a ridiculously high level of spiritual excellence, essentially bullying others into agreeing with our social agenda out of a longing to be righteous. And then…we judge those that don’t agree with our brand of faith or our worldview. Our judgment leads to being judged by those we have demonized for their beliefs. And the cycle continues.

We have allowed political campaigns to run for months and months before election day. In this heated season, I have yet to hear one televised commercial that doesn’t vilify the other opponent; one that tells me what a candidate intends to do; one that seeks to unify rather than divide. And yet, each party claims to be the one focused on their brand…and only their brand…of  their perceived morally exceptional behavior.  There is little room for conversation, let alone compromise. Hurtful labels are plunged deep into the hearts of the criticized doing as much damage to the soul as a dagger does to the flesh.

When indeed, we are all in this beautiful life together.

Let’s try that again…WE ARE ALL IN THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE TOGETHER!

So now, what do we do? We listen. We listen to our sacred writings and realized that they all speak of compassion and love for our neighbor. We accept that we are made differently for a reason. Many eyes and hearts see a variety of distinct things so that we can come together as a unified whole, not as opposing groups focused on grabbing all of the power. We recognize that our neighbor is in need of a casserole or someone to vacuum or give them a ride; that they long for a message of hope rather than hate; that they simply want someone to validate their life through shared conversation, including those things that have hurt them or those things that inspire them…even when their “stuff” is unfamiliar to us. We realize that our elected officials are not in charge of our morality – good or bad. We accept responsibility to step outside of our lives long enough to see the needs around us.  We stop judging and start understanding. We look at the messages of Jesus, Mohammad, Gandhi, Buddha, and others who spoke of compassion and love, recognizing when rhetoric – religious or otherwise – comes with baggage that feeds into racism, sexism, and all of the other ‘isms’ that attribute to divisive behavior.

What we need is to look at ‘the other’…you know, the one that doesn’t think the way we do…and simply come together…right now…

The Youngbloods hit the music charts in the late 1960’s with a song, Get Together, written by Chet Powers. (Also known as Dino Valenti) Google it. Listen to it. Read and savor the words. Think of it as a prayer for our country – every bit as relevant today as it was half a century ago. Then…LIVE IT!

 

 

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This has to stop…now…

01 Thursday Jun 2017

Posted by Linda in choices, compassion, difficult times, freedom, hate, judgment, polarization, political correctness

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Community, compassion, freedom, hate, relationships

The Kathy Griffin controversy has completely missed the point. Yes, we have freedom of speech in the United States of America. And, yes, when public opinion and sources of income cringed at her form of twisted comedy, she ‘apologized’. It was a general apology directed at no one. Just an ambiguous “Oh, gosh…I guess I crossed a line” form of apology.

I would like to suggest that Ms Griffin consider whom she affected with her twisted and dark attempt at comedy. The obvious victims are President Trump and his family. Unfortunately both sides of our country’s political war are to blame. We have hung presidents in effigy; we have maligned the integrity of our elected leaders through biased media; we have made those who serve our nation in the executive, legislative and judicial branch into dysfunctional caricatures ; we have impersonated grossly exaggerated traits in the name of comedy; and the list goes on.

Sidebar: And we wonder why we have a problem with bullying in our schools…another topic for another day…

There are others who have been deeply affected by her hateful and self-serving attempt at humor. Does anyone remember Daniel Pearl? He was one of many who was murdered by radical terrorists. His head was severed from his body and held for the world to see and absorb the depth of threat this savage group posed to all of us. There were others…James Foley, Peter Kassig and others who we never knew their names including innocent children. And this is a symbol to be used as a form of political comedy? Ask the families of the dead if they are laughing now. Ask them if they see the humor. Rather, a sincere and heartfelt apology might be appropriate.

A day doesn’t go by that we don’t read about another terrorist attack. Manchester, Brussels, Paris, Afghanistan, New York, Florida, San Bernadino, Boston…to name a few. Innocent people, including children, have been killed by terrorist suicide bombers. The headlines never stop. They keep increasing, terrifying and numbing us to the fact that this isn’t the way God, or by whatever name you call the Divine, created life to be.

I remember being a young woman and reading about bombings in Northern Ireland or conflicts in Israel. I wondered what it would be like to live under such circumstances – never knowing where it is safe. It seemed so foreign and unacceptable. Our worries started and ended with concerns about car accidents and cancer. Never did we imagine that no place, not even a house of worship, is totally safe. Yet, here we are today. We consider where we go and what we do based on the threat level and whether or not the chance is worth it. Some simply stay home. Some try to protect themselves with weapons. Most of us go about life as usual, only more aware of who and what is surrounding us.

So, Ms Griffin, here are several more groups of people who deserve your apology. We have to remember all of the souls that have been lost to these vicious barbarians and the families who suffer their loss. We have to think of the women who have been brutally victimized simply because they are women. We have to think about the children who have been tortured and killed, or those who have been brainwashed into becoming the next generation of merciless beasts. We have to think about the men who have been butchered because they couldn’t and wouldn’t join the ‘forces’. A lame “oops” isn’t going to soothe their pain.

Finally, we cannot forget the armed forces that fight daily to change the course of this scourge. There are young people from most countries in the free world who sacrifice to allow us the comforts of freedom, including free speech. I might also add to this list the families of these young soldiers and sailors; the families of the commanders, admirals and generals; and the mothers, fathers, children and spouses of the fallen as those who need to hear your humble gratitude for all they have given to you so that you ‘have the right’ to defame them in the name of free speech. Which, I might add, is exactly what you did when you used an exceedingly savage symbol in your ‘funny’ hate-filled picture.

This has to stop…now! It isn’t about a comedian making fun of a president whom she doesn’t agree with. This is about each and every one of us understanding how our actions affect others. It’s about living with compassion and character. It’s about humility. It’s about living in relationship with those around us, even when we don’t agree with them. It’s about changing the wrongs in the world through working together. It’s about so much more than getting the last laugh no matter who it hurts. It’s about knowing that no person or group should be the butt of our jokes no matter what! It’s about knowing that we have the right to disagree, but never the right to maliciously malign another person.

Ellen DeGeneres once said she would never make a joke at someone else’s expense. This, friends, is a great comedian and compassionate woman.

Ms Griffin? Not so much…

 

 

 

 

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Relationships only work if…

23 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by Linda in acceptance, Christianity, community, compassion, hate, human nature, political correctness, relationships

≈ 2 Comments

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Christianity, Community, compassion, human nature, life lessons, political correctness, relationships, wisdom

Relationships only work if…

The fill-in-the-blank on that one seems obvious. In reality, it is subject to many deviations from reality. Children come home from school professing to hate a former best friend because they didn’t agree on something. Group mentality prevents one faction from embracing another because of loyalties to the club, gang, team, religion or whatever chasm divides them into rivals or enemies. A spouse has expectations that aren’t met and withdraws rather than entering conversation toward understanding. Relationships…

We rant about those who think, look, speak, worship or love differently than we do, all the while circling ourselves with those who reflect our views and attitudes in a disturbing attempt to be on the right side…as if that alone gives us worth as a person. Indeed, that thought process simply causes us to diminish the perceived worth of those who do not meet our beliefs and expectations. Relationships…

We have come to a place in our society where groups pride themselves on polarization and vilifying those who don’t share their mandated common cause. I read a news article today that gave permission to hate someone who voted for a candidate the reader didn’t like. Seriously!!! Our freedom to vote for the candidate of our choice was leveled to a school yard fight. It’s the old “my way or the highway” concept of how to get along in life – a philosophy that has never worked to promote a healthy relationship.

What ever happened to listening? You know, two ears and one mouth…use them proportionately? What about listening to another’s views, beliefs and attitudes openly and honestly to understand what they think, feel and love? What about finding common ground and growing out of that commonality? What about recognizing that life experiences lead all of us in different directions and to different understandings? And, what about sharing our collective wisdoms to find solutions that are cooperative and greater than any one perspective could ever produce? Relationships!!!

Instead, we tend to dig in our heels and deny that any mindset other than the one we share with our cronies has validity. We jump into conflict and believe resolution will come only when we get our way. And, we believe this at all cost. Friends, it is where we are at in our country, our neighborhoods, our families, our churches, our offices, our schools… We have become the Polarized States of America. Unity is gone and we believe it won’t return until  everyone else buys into our narrow-minded rhetoric. Be very clear, it is all narrow minded rhetoric when it becomes a rabidly held belief, no matter how liberal or conservative the motives are.

Our demise will come from our inability to listen…to understand…to believe in the good of someone who disagrees with us…to respect differing opinions. All we really need to do is listen and understand that our own hot air professions aren’t the only game in town. Finally, the goal shouldn’t be about who wins and who loses…the goal should be about how we nurture relationships.

And, relationships only work if…

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   – Maya Angelou

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A rant on politics and truisms…

22 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by Linda in acceptance, choices, compassion, hate, human nature, judgment, political correctness

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choices, Christianity, Community, compassion, God, judgment

Writing-Clip-ArtIt doesn’t take much to make me crazy – particularly when I hear or read something that attempts to make absurd generalizations truisms. You know truisms, those statements that seem to be obviously true or things that we have heard so often that we accept them as truth without consideration for the source, the scientific quality of the claim, or the motivation of the speaker.

We are on the cusp of yet another election year. Doesn’t it seem that every year has become an election year? Just when we rid our media of hate filled political campaign rhetoric plagued with alleged truisms about the other candidate, we enter another round of ugly, despicable claims. Unfortunately, it seems that the more something is said and publicized, the more it becomes true in the minds of the public. Truisms abound…some that are not actually true.

It doesn’t matter on what side of the hypothetical aisle someone leans, there are plenty of not-so-truisms to support their agenda. I guess we believe what we want to believe then find truisms to garner support for our cause.

The problem with so many of our truisms is that they point out the flaws of the other guy, or gal, without making substantial claims based on science, economics, history, compassion and all those things we are supposed to learn during our growing up years. They simply show up again and again and again until we think they are…well…true, even when they are not.

Some ‘truths’ are the result of a sound bite taken out of context to prove how misguided someone is, followed by the process of repeat, repeat, repeat until that person’s media created character takes on a life of its own with very little representation of their actual statement, intent or beliefs. Yet, we find it okay because our agenda is supported and we can claim to be knowledgeable because we have proof in the form of a truism.

What ever happened to coming together and talking about an issue? Why don’t we take the time to meet and know the other person, you know – someone who isn’t like us or part of our club…whatever our club happens to be whether it is a neighborhood, religious affiliation, work setting, baseball team; where we shop, do business, or buy laundry soap; or if we resonate toward the affections of a dog or a cat? Why do we think we understand all we need to know about “the other” simply because of some  annoying generalizations that somehow become truisms…truisms that seem to allow us the right to judge anyone and anything that doesn’t agree with us…truisms that divide rather than unify…truisms that are used to justify horrible behaviors…truisms that corrupt our understanding of what it means to be a member of God’s amazing creation…truisms that have nothing to do with loving our neighbor, let alone loving God. Doe Zantamata said it well:

It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding we grow.

It’s time for growth.

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Community Outrage and the game called “Mousetrap”…

14 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by Linda in hate, human nature, Lenten Meditaion, love, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

compassion, difficult times, hate, Lenten Meditation, religion, responsibility, spirituality

ImageMy brother and I thoroughly enjoyed the game Mousetrap when we were children. So much so, I tracked it down for my kids when they were the right age. I think it’s still in the attic…somewhere. Which reminds me, I could certainly spend some quality time cleaning the attic…and basement…and garage…not to mention several closets. But, that’s a different topic for another time.

My recollection of Mousetrap came about this morning while I was brushing my teeth and thinking about my daily first cup of coffee. Those simple activities were overshadowed, however, by the sorrow clouding the morning. Snow, although unusual for this late in the spring, seemed entirely appropriate today. Its chilling presence was consistent with the knowledge that yet another shooting occurred and threw a community into unrelenting agony. This time an innocent adolescent, his grandfather and a woman were murdered simply because they were in buildings with Jewish ties. None of them were Jewish, by the way. Neither were many of the other people who were there. These buildings and the people who built and administered them welcomed everyone who came in peace to enjoy what they had to offer. Some came for the arts; some to work out or compete in friendly competitions; some were there for health care or retirement living. Their commonality? All are God’s children. Period. Plain and simple, yet it’s all that actually matters. Not their collective theology, ethnicity, socioeconomic level, favorite color or the kind of dog they happen to have. All of them – even the shooter.

Our game of Mousetrap consisted of building a simple machine designed to catch a mouse in the overly engineered Rube Goldberg fashion. Once the structure was completed, a series of amusing chain reactions – including an old boot kicking a ball which fell from a tower into a bathtub causing the tub to tip making the ball roll into a stick that caused a vibration making the trap fall – resulted in catching a mouse shaped marker on the game board. It was a silly, childhood game that taught us about cause and effect, much like building a domino structure. If everything lines up in the right way, one event will cause all of the tiles to methodically fall. The community of game pieces moved together…standing and falling through the course of events, interacting with each other as they careened toward their final movement.

Yesterday’s event was yet another in a series of violent attacks on groups of innocent people. The list is infinite. When did it start? When will it end? We try to blame guns, as if inanimate objects are capable of brainwashing the individuals in possession of them. Knives, pressure cookers, nails, fertilizer and a litany of everyday products have also been in the news as tools utilized in mass destruction. I suspect everything we know of can be used for either good or evil. Maybe it’s actually us – humanity – at the root of this epidemic of violence and slaughter. Maybe we have come to a place where we must scrutinize who we are and have become as a society to find a realistic blame and subsequent fix for these events.

Yesterday’s shooter is reported to be a retired Army veteran – a Green Beret, no less! This is a man who served during the turbulent era of Vietnam, peace demonstrations, and hippies. He spent the next decades absorbing himself with hate groups and the idea of white supremacy, although hate isn’t simply a factor of skin color nor does it mean caucasians have a corner on the hate market. But then, I digress again. The point is, what happened to him? What series of domino events tumbled through his life to bring him to this final, hellish event? How did hate replace the respect for liberty and freedom that he pledged to represented during his military career? Or, did his hate for people who looked and thought differently than he did motivate his actions even then?

You see, I believe that if we weep for the victims, we must also weep for the accused. Something is going on in our society that produces the perfect storm of hate, anger, hostility and warped idealism that nurtures the distorted perspective embraced by some that these actions are somehow appropriate. No, the average citizen doesn’t condone such cowardly violence. In spite of that, the frequency of these events is gaining momentum.

It brings me back to cause and effect. We live in a “live and let live” culture where “I’m okay and you’re okay”. We turn away from a neighbor who seems odd or weird and let them “do their own thing”. We find reasons for every behavior whether it’s a disability, a life event, a poor parent or a disadvantaged childhood. There is even a new condition called “affluenza” which the book Affluenza: The All-Consuming Epidemic defines it as “a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety, and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more.” Seriously? Why not call it what it is? Greed! But, no, instead of burdening an individual with personal responsibility, we find reasons for inappropriate, unreasonable, wrong behaviors as if by giving someone excuses it will help them find a better way. This is nothing more than enabling some to continue to live as if nothing but their personal issues, beliefs and desires are the only things that matter. Unfortunately, self-absorbed conduct builds on itself. Most of the enabled will live relatively calm lives driven by their narcissistic tendencies. Others will grow increasingly dissatisfied with their perspective of what is wrong with the world. A few, when the dominos of their life experiences line up just right, will justify hideous actions as if they were doing the right thing.

Our response is to mourn the loss of innocent life and exterminate what we blame as the cause, whether it is a person or a thing. It is much more difficult to reflect on who we have become as a society that these heinous events continue to happen. Maybe we need to stop categorizing people with absurd generalizations that are intended to apply to the entire group whether we are referring to religion, politics, ethnicity, socioeconomics, school we attend and/or favorite flavor of ice cream. It’s as if the us-and-them mentality should be a rule for choosing our friends and targeting our enemies.

But, God had something else in mind for us. Jesus, who was betrayed by a friend and murdered by those who didn’t understand him and therefore hated him, never deviated from his message of compassion for all of humanity. It wasn’t limited to his religious tradition, his gender, his geographical home or his family. No, he didn’t condone poor behavior or chalk it up to the result of a difficult life. He stretched people to be all that they could be. He healed physical, emotional and behavioral scars through love and compassion and challenged those who were touched by him to live as he did loving and serving the world around him.

Hate, on the other hand, will eat away at someone until something awful happens. No, it won’t always be mass killings. But, we might do or say something that hurts another person so deeply that they begin to hate, too. Or, we might be the role model to a fragile mind that accepts our justification of prejudice towards a targeted group of others. The dominos start to set-up. The next person might influence another and pretty soon universal traits of an individual in a group become some sort of crazy factual norm. Like, my blond hair makes me intellectually inferior or my political views make me a hater. Neither of which are true. But, to the ‘other’ who doesn’t know me as a person, the generalizations become who I am in their mind and they hate me for it. Another domino…

I wonder about yesterday’s shooter, as I do the boy with a knife in Pennsylvania and the Boston Marathon bombers. I wonder about Judas and Pilate and Herod. I wonder about Mother Theresa and Francis of Assisi. I wonder about Hitler and Stalin. I wonder about my neighbors and what joys and pains they face. I wonder about hope and care and compassion and crime. I wonder about greed and responsibility and whether or not the frost tonight will affect the blooms of spring. Each of these things can become the cause and effect for good or for evil. When I turn the crank, will the mousetrap fall? Or will one slight alteration in the course of events change the outcome?

Our community is shocked and in mourning. May we rise up from this outrage with eyes so open that we recognize where we can change hate into something that looks a lot like love and compassion. As our arms open to those who grieve the loss of a loved one, may we also examine our own hearts to realize where we, too, bear responsibility for the atrocities we experience in life.

 

 

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The death of a man…

22 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Linda in choices, compassion, hate, human nature, Lenten Meditaion, love, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

compassion, Fred Phelps, hate, human nature, Lenten Meditation, love

I clearly recall the day I saw the gathering on the sidewalk. Several police officers were stationed on the opposite side of the street watching the men, women and children who held pickets splattered with messages depicting a belief that it is somehow God’s will for anyone who doesn’t fit within a narrow spectrum of behavior to die a horrible and painful death. Furthermore, if we show any love or compassion for their targeted population, we should share the same vengeful fate. Additionally, our national acceptance of all people is in jeopardy as proven when our military men and women die while defending, amongst other things, our right to speak as viciously as this famous group of people who erroneously call themselves a ‘church’, ‘believers in God’, and, I choke on the word, ‘Christians’.

It was all I could do to keep from driving onto the walkway to permanently silence them. How could they infect children with this distorted perception of God and how God feels about humanity? Children are born beautifully open to people of all colors, religions, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and abilities. They can only enter the box of prejudice with instruction from the adults they look up to. This group of adults damages the innocence of their children as they attacked people unknown to them, an attack generated simply because they did not share the group’s distorted religious beliefs. The day I saw them, they stood in front of a building that served Jewish believers on Saturday and offered Christian services on Sunday. It wasn’t their traditional venue of tormenting grieving families at military funerals; yet, it exemplified their perverted position that God sees life the way they see it.

Then it happened. Their patriarch and church founder died. His passing has permeated not only the news, but also clutters social media sites and seems to be the topic of choice for many, like myself, who write or preach about spiritual matters. I didn’t intend to write about his passing. But, it has been gnawing at me. The thing is, I like to think I’m not writing about his life; rather I am meditating on how his life has affected our society. The only significance I find in his life and death is in the overall goodness of society and the pervasive attitude that we must never stoop to his level of hate. News reports and social media comments share a general message of compassion for his family as they mourn their loss. A few have threatened to picket his funeral just as he did to others. But, each of these remarks have been met with reminders of a loving God and encouragement to show the family compassion. Even the church I mentioned above had a message in their signage asking for peace as he enters eternity.

What I see in all of this is God’s hand. God was in the crowds who created barriers at gravesides to protect grieving families from their venom. God is present in the goodness and peaceful wishes extended to his family as they grieve. God is in every heart that weeps for this man and the life he lived never knowing the love and grace God extends to all. God himself (herself?) probably weeps with intense sadness that this man, God’s beloved, never knew the joy God showered around him throughout his life. He only knew the deity of hate he created in his mind to support his fears and prejudices about people who were not like him.

The problem is, this man is not totally unlike us. His example is of a life lived without compassion. Yet, we have the potential to live in his world when it is convenient for us. We claim we would never teach a child to hate, but what are we doing to teach them to love? What do we teach them when we are angry with someone and rant about that person’s less desirable characteristics? What if those attributes include an ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or disabilities that the child transfers to all people with those traits? Further, we think we would never stand in the midst of another’s grief and shout scathing epitaphs about their loved one deserving to die. Yet, we might find ourselves unwilling to forgive someone who has wronged us and secretly hope they experience pain.

I like to think I live out of compassion for all of God’s creation. Yet, I am sure there are times when God shakes his (her) head at my choices. My prayer is that as I continue to navigate this crazy thing called “life”, I grow increasingly aware of God’s love and presence in all things…so aware that I have no choice but to make the right choice.

As for you Mr. Phelps, I believe in the power of God’s love. It is because of that belief, I pray you will rest in peace, finally knowing yourself as God’s beloved, fully aware of the pain your hate rendered and equally conscience of the incredible mercy God shared with you when God called you home.

Epilogue: The family of the man picketed again last night. On the other side of the street was a group of people with a single banner that read, “We are sorry for your loss.” Some hear God’s gentle nudge to meet hate with compassion and some are deafened by the noise of their own prejudice. Most of us fall somewhere in between…

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