Tag Archives: political correctness

Relationships only work if…

23 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, community, compassion, hate, human nature, political correctness, relationships

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Relationships only work if…

The fill-in-the-blank on that one seems obvious. In reality, it is subject to many deviations from reality. Children come home from school professing to hate a former best friend because they didn’t agree on something. Group mentality prevents one faction from embracing another because of loyalties to the club, gang, team, religion or whatever chasm divides them into rivals or enemies. A spouse has expectations that aren’t met and withdraws rather than entering conversation toward understanding. Relationships…

We rant about those who think, look, speak, worship or love differently than we do, all the while circling ourselves with those who reflect our views and attitudes in a disturbing attempt to be on the right side…as if that alone gives us worth as a person. Indeed, that thought process simply causes us to diminish the perceived worth of those who do not meet our beliefs and expectations. Relationships…

We have come to a place in our society where groups pride themselves on polarization and vilifying those who don’t share their mandated common cause. I read a news article today that gave permission to hate someone who voted for a candidate the reader didn’t like. Seriously!!! Our freedom to vote for the candidate of our choice was leveled to a school yard fight. It’s the old “my way or the highway” concept of how to get along in life – a philosophy that has never worked to promote a healthy relationship.

What ever happened to listening? You know, two ears and one mouth…use them proportionately? What about listening to another’s views, beliefs and attitudes openly and honestly to understand what they think, feel and love? What about finding common ground and growing out of that commonality? What about recognizing that life experiences lead all of us in different directions and to different understandings? And, what about sharing our collective wisdoms to find solutions that are cooperative and greater than any one perspective could ever produce? Relationships!!!

Instead, we tend to dig in our heels and deny that any mindset other than the one we share with our cronies has validity. We jump into conflict and believe resolution will come only when we get our way. And, we believe this at all cost. Friends, it is where we are at in our country, our neighborhoods, our families, our churches, our offices, our schools… We have become the Polarized States of America. Unity is gone and we believe it won’t return until  everyone else buys into our narrow-minded rhetoric. Be very clear, it is all narrow minded rhetoric when it becomes a rabidly held belief, no matter how liberal or conservative the motives are.

Our demise will come from our inability to listen…to understand…to believe in the good of someone who disagrees with us…to respect differing opinions. All we really need to do is listen and understand that our own hot air professions aren’t the only game in town. Finally, the goal shouldn’t be about who wins and who loses…the goal should be about how we nurture relationships.

And, relationships only work if…

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   – Maya Angelou

A Rant about the iPhone and the Pope…

24 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, community, iPhone, polarization, political correctness, Pope Francis

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I thought it was just a simple update for my iPhone. You know the kind…it will work better, faster, be more user friendly, etc, etc, etc. When the update was complete, I noticed an icon for a new app. The amazing people at Apple decided I might like the “News” app, the one that would allow me to get personalized news stories. You know the kind…the more I read the news, the more my News-feed will be tailored to my interests.

Wait…what??? So, now there is an app that will feed into my biases, blind spots, phobias and generalized interests without the clamor of thoughts, insights and opinions that don’t support my ideals and agendas? Is it just me, or does anyone else see the audacity and danger in this approach to cementing one’s worldview? The more you read about a given perspective, the more that perspective will show up in your News app to distort it into the only appropriate way to think, feel, behave or react.

We already have a problem with polarization in this country. We shove people into categories based in their political perspective, skin tone, language, age, gender, sexual orientation and, well…the litany of “us against them” divisions grow with each issue presented in our neighborhoods, the media, our families and even our churches.

It has become acceptable for some groups to point fingers at other groups and refer to them as supremacists, homophobes, idiots, greedy, self-centered, rich capitalists while denigrating the targeted group for looking in another direction to make equally absurd assumptions. Really? Are some stereotypes okay? Does it depend on what’s politically correct? How big your groups of followers are or how big your voice is? Is it ever okay to categorize people, no matter what you think you may know?

And, Apple wants me to use this silly app that chooses articles for me based on what I am already reading without counterbalancing those thoughts and opinions with equally important views that I may or may not have considered?

The Pope is in town. Oh, not the town I live in. He has come to visit our country and all forms of media have brought him into our homes so we can feel his presence wherever we are throughout the nation. You would think his presence would remind us to celebrate our diversity and think in terms of unity, reconciliation, grace, and working together on the problems that plague us.

Nope.

Open any Facebook page and you will find rampant finger pointing and scathing comments that only work to divide us even further into our exclusive niches. “Did you hear what he said about…?” “Have you read his perspective on…?” “He didn’t address my concerns about…?” “He’s changing…” “He ate with…” “Did you see how he reacted to…”

It seems to me the Pope isn’t actually taking sides. Smart man! Instead he is speaking from his understanding of grace – what loving God above all things and loving neighbor as self looks like.

Read that again. Instead he is speaking from his understanding of grace – what loving God above all things and loving neighbor as self looks like. Maybe we need to read that again and again and again. Instead we, in our antithetical views, have twisted his words to be about us and our egocentric agendas.

This beautiful creation that God entrusted us with, this place we call home, the people around us – the ones we know, the ones we only read about, the ones who we love and the ones we take issues with – these are our neighbors. These are the people we are to see as children of God, whether they are living in poverty, or wealth; look like us or not; share our political convictions, concept of religion or the constitution…or not; relate to an understanding of gender and family in a conservative way…or not; drive a Prius or a gas guzzling SUV; believe in global warming, climate change, non-GMO foods…or not; are vegetarian, card carrying members of PETA…or not; demonstrate for gender equality in religion or embrace traditionally roles for clergy; speak out on abortion and divorce, or realize that simply navigating life can lead us to places we never expected to be in and don’t know how to maneuver; prefer lemonade or a martini, cats or dogs…or neither…these, friends, are our neighbors. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

We need to accept the lessons of the Gospel and live as if God’s gift of grace to each and every one of us matters. We need to remember Jesus walked and partied with women, outcasts, adulterers, rich tax collectors and lepers without condemning any of them. He showed compassion for all, not just those who deem themselves to be politically correct. Actually, he had little time for those interested in making and enforcing rules. He was more concerned with people and how they learned to live joyfully and with limitless love for others. He even broke the rules when they led to oppression. Imagine…

I am glad the Pope is here. Maybe he can refresh our perspectives, help us move past our limited views and politicized agendas and encourage open conversation on difficult issues that may guide us toward truly compassionate living and grace which can only be defined as living as if God and the message of love given to us through the life of Jesus mattered.

Epilogue: I have tried to delete my News app. No such luck. Apple made sure it’s there to stay. Maybe that too is a good thing. When I see the icon, I will use it as a reminder of how dangerous it can be to limit exposure to those things that can be used to divide us into dangerous, exclusive groups.

Jesus and politics…

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by in choices, Christianity, compassion, love, political correctness, relationships, Responsibility, Uncategorized

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I am sick to death of books, articles and comments that draw conclusions about God, Jesus and politics. Just today I saw a blog titled, “How would Jesus vote?” In my humble perspective, the two words “Jesus” and “vote” don’t belong in the same sentence. Nor do “God” and “politics”. Further, I take offense at writers who maintain someone’s faith is questionable if they don’t agree with the political slant of the writer. Good grief! Who are they to judge??? It is simply another form of religious bullying.

Let me explain.

How we live our lives matter. What is the right thing for one person to do might be the wrong thing for another. In Wesleyan theology, the term for this is, “the intention of the heart”. In common vernacular one might say, “what were you thinking when you did what you did?” In other words, the rationale behind our behaviors is what makes them the right or the wrong thing to do. If I take food to an elderly neighbor because I am hoping it will be noticed by the other neighbors and…let’s be honest…by God, I am doing the right thing for all of the wrong reasons. However, if I know my neighbor needs help and I offer that help simply because they need it with no strings or hopes for personal gain attached, I am doing the right thing for the right reasons. What motivated my actions? What was the intention of my heart?

I have a hard time seeing Jesus as a political activist. Instead, he modeled right behavior through the actions of his life. He attempted to change legalisms that prevented caring for others even when it wasn’t convenient or considered to be ‘right’. Take for example healing on the Sabbath. Jesus put relationship and compassion above following the rabbinical laws. Yes, these were religious laws as opposed to governmental decrees, yet they were powerful and offenders were subject to serious consequences, including death. It’s hard for those of us living in Western Civilization cultures to understand the magnitude of the ancient religious laws. We talk about our religious traditions, some of which impose excommunication for those who choose not to recognize them. Yet, at the end of the day, we do not fear prosecution if we act outside of those traditions.

We also see liberal and conservative religions making claims that are diametrically opposed, claiming God’s sanction for opposing perspectives. Consider the abortion issue. One side claims it is a mortal sin and seeks compassion for the unborn while the other side seeks empathy for situational crises and the need to show compassion for the mother. Who is right? Who is following God? I would wager neither and both.

You see, our faith doesn’t come in a neat little package. For every law that is passed, we can find a person or group of people that the law oppresses. That’s because life is messy and no law or series of laws can address situational peculiarities. Some laws that are intended to offer compassion to groups of people unintentionally, yet actually, withdraw compassion from others. Certain groups become ‘politically correct’ in their approach in one decade and 10 – 15 – 20 years later they are recognized as oppressors to the rights of others.

Think of the low fat diet craze of the 1980’s and 1990’s. Saturated fats were on the dietary hit list. We were encouraged to substitute trans fats for saturated fats. Some products limited fat all together but added high fructose corn syrup to make up for the bland taste when the fats were removed. Now, with additional studies, we understand that trans fats and high fructose corn syrup are not good for us. Some studies even report that we need saturated fats in our diets! The balance has to come from knowing something about health and nutrition and making wise choices based on that knowledge. It might involve getting to know a respected dietitian or nutritionist and visualizing them whispering in our ear as we navigate the grocery store or a restaurant’s menu. What would they do when confronted with a minefield of choices? Their advice would be given through the lens of knowing what nutrients promote healthy living.

I believe Jesus offered us the same kind of guidance. To follow Christ and the life he modeled is to consider all things through the lens of compassion, justice, mercy and love particular to a situation. It isn’t about governmental laws forcing us to make certain choices. It’s about our own hearts and what we are thinking as we stumble through life. And, it’s about allowing the still, quiet voice of Jesus to stir our conscious into right action.

Yes, we need governments to manage some things and that requires laws. John F. Kennedy aptly stated, “law alone can not make a man do right.” The bigger picture is personal responsibility and owning our shared responsibility for those who need a hand. It isn’t simply the rich handing over resources to the poor for that helps neither live within the fullness God intended for all of us in creation. Nor is it ignoring human need whether that need is for friendship, food, healthcare, dignity, education, housing, love, trust, justice and the list goes on. The thing is, the list does not have socioeconomic boundaries. Human need is present in palaces and slums; in rich nations and impoverished countries; in churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples. All we have to do is look around us and we will find it.

So, what does that have to do with voting? Actually, nothing. It has everything to do with each of us as individuals living life as God intended for us to live. You know, loving God with all of our heart, our mind and our spirit and loving our neighbors as ourselves. It isn’t about imposing our will on others, rather it is seeing our neighbors’ need and responding to it as we are able.

Jesus never forced his will on anyone, either through religious condemnation or the power of law. He did teach us to do what is right through the beautiful lens of compassion, mercy, justice and love. Of course, we all attach our own meanings to these words. Therein lies a problem. Yet, if we strive to balance these components and use them as guides, we won’t be too wrong. And, when we simply don’t know what to do, humble prayer and meditation help us find the still, quiet voice and reason of God to help us along the way.

 

Political correctness, tolerance and Picasso…

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, compassion, human nature, political correctness, relationships, spirituality, tolerance

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I am sick of political correctness. I think it has more to do with the ‘political’ part of the phrase. Nor am I a fan of tolerance. It smacks of sanctimony and arrogance. It’s our human nature to place a level of righteousness on our beliefs and hold them as the proper perspective in a given the situation. To tolerate alternative ideas is to support another person’s right to think any old way they choose while maintaining my right to feel superior for having the accurate and appropriate belief. Yuck! Who wants to be around that?

Now, about political correctness. I believe there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors that should be based on civility, manners and compassion. Most world religions have ethical and moral guidelines that let us know when we are playing ‘nice’ and when we are being tasteless and need to rethink our motivation to say or do certain things. Unfortunately, the politically correct movement seems to be generated by those who want to seem tolerant so they instruct the rest of us on what is acceptable – or not – based on their standards and find anyone who doesn’t agree to be intolerant thereby making the alleged tolerant group intolerant of those whom they deem intolerant. You get my point??? Who gets to decide what is correct and what isn’t? It seems be the opinion of the loudest voice when, indeed, there are times that person or group must be challenged.

I am not contending that certain behaviors in our culture don’t need to go away – permanently. It’s not okay to make generalizations about groups of people based on race, gender, socioeconomic level, intellectual abilities, disabilities, hair color, eye color, state they live in, country they came from, sexual preference, books they like or what side they prefer to lay on when they sleep. Not okay! But, we all pretty much know that and, for the most part, are conditioned to be…well, tolerant.

Then there are the groups that the politically correct crowd has decided are fair game for ridicule with absurd generalizations. Just try saying you are Christian, or God forbid…fundamentalist Christian. Throw in a splash of Republican slant and let the games begin. At this point you will become a woman hating, money hungry, uncompassionate, hypocritical homophobe. There are some who might be! The problem is embedded in thinking that everyone within a demographic feels, behaves and believes the same way. Further, the targeted group is judged without tolerance or giving an individual the respect to be heard.

My guess is some of you agreed with me regarding generalizations about race, gender, yada, yada, yada. But, when I got to the hot button buzzwords some polarized in one direction and others were crazed the other way. The thing is, political correctness only welcomes those groups that the politically correct movement chooses to accommodate. Those falling outside of their chosen agendas seem to be fair game to categorize and ridicule.

You also might be wondering why this rant is showing up in a blog that is traditionally focused on Christian spirituality. It’s pretty simple. Nowhere in scripture does Jesus attempt to sway anyone toward his beliefs with sarcasm or contempt for who they are or where they come from. He accepted – not tolerated – Samaritans, tax collectors, prostitutes, crazy people, women, Pharisees and an entire litany of fringe groups as he walked among us. Notice the word ‘us’? He didn’t stay away from or make fun of those people. It didn’t matter who they were! Nor did he arrogantly tolerate them. His compassion included full acceptance for the person he was talking to. It wasn’t about shaming them into thinking his way or accusing them of being less worthy of his time if they were different than him. He showed compassion for all and it was through that compassion that people grew beyond the prejudicial thoughts that bound them.

And, yes, there are fringe groups in all world religions that maintain radical beliefs that unless we look, think and believe with them, we are not worthy of God’s love. I prefer to let God make that determination, thank you very much. Again, if we believe that God loved the world and sent Christ to teach us God’s ways, then we must recognize that God loved the WORLD – not just my corner of it, or my particular group of cronies. Everyone is included in that love. Even the people we make fun of or shame or avoid because they don’t share our physical characteristics, lifestyle or beliefs.

Think of Picasso. Did you know that he not only painted, he created sculptures, ceramics, tapestries and drawings? Further, not all of his paintings are abstract. If I happen into a museum exhibiting his work, I may resonate with one piece over another, although I wouldn’t think to destroy the integrity of a painting or statue that I didn’t understand. Then, if I choose to study his life and art, I might begin to see the beauty in a piece that I previously dismissed. Maybe it will be in his use of color or in the grace or elegance depicted through the flow of lines in his subject. I might become so consumed with his works that I internalize the intimacies of his art and no longer need to look for his signature as a means to recognize the creator.

It is much like our relationship with God. It’s no coincidence that scripture begins with two equally beautiful descriptions of God’s joy in creating all that we know and exclaiming, “it is good”. I guess “good” includes cockroaches and snakes, although I’m not sure why. It also includes all those people who are different than me, as well as dogs, cats, tomatoes, trees and ponds. When I look at these things, not simply as objects around me, but rather as the art of God – the things God made – I recognize the artist’s love for each and every object in his/her collection and I learn to handle those items as if I truly believe they are good.

Ellen DeGeneres said it quite well in regard to her comedy:

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.

Sometimes we bully to get a laugh, to make a point, to get a political vote or in a misguided attempt to elevate our own status or power. It’s never okay – not under the guise of political correctness or the equally offensive buzzword “tolerance”. It is okay to honestly and respectfully share perspectives and grow in acceptance of someone who is different than you, remembering all the while that you are indeed different to them as well.