Category Archives: spirituality

It’s Easter…so what?

21 Sunday Apr 2019

Posted by in community, compassion, Easter, God, relationships, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

It’s Easter. So what…so what does that mean???

We read that God so loved the world that God came to walk and live among us. So what?

We read that Jesus lived a life of love and compassion for all of God’s creation. So what?

We read that humanity didn’t expect Jesus to enter the world as a baby. We read that humanity couldn’t accept his perfect and equal love for all of God’s people…so, we did what we do. We tried to erase his counter-cultural message by removing him from life. We executed him as a criminal of the people. So what?

We read that Jesus thwarted death by continuing his walk among us, a walk that only some recognized. Those who recognized it continued the walk. Those who felt their way of life would be threatened by attempted to kill Jesus by eradicating those who lived as he lived. So what?

Finally, we read that Jesus will come again. What???!!!

Here’s the thing, we didn’t expect Jesus to come as a baby. We wanted him to ride into the world on a stallion with a sword to make the world right…right as we wanted it to be. We long for the same thing now, just as we did then. We want a Messiah who will clean things up. That must mean that the people who offend me will be thrown over the cliff into hell, right? And, those who don’t agree with my way of life will see that they are completely messed up. And, there will be no more cats…only dogs. And, cockroaches will finally become extinct. And…well, the world will be perfect…just as I imagine it…ummmm, wait…I mean just as God created it.

We dress up and go to church, maybe donning a hat worthy of being in the Derby crowd. We boil eggs and hide them, hoping all of them are found before they turn to a sulfurous stench. We smile and laugh with those we love, falling into a relaxed and joyful heap at the end of a long day. It’s all as it should be, right?

Isn’t that what this day is about?

Maybe that’s the problem.

What if the second coming is just as mysterious as Christ’s birth and resurrection? We profess to be waiting for Christ to come again and just know that it will be like a scene from a science fiction movie. You know the kind, a life-form beams down from between the clouds with rays of sunshine providing illumination as we watch in awe and wonder. Only this time it’s Jesus coming to kick butt and take names. Other butts and names, right??? Not mine and the people I like.

Maybe that’s not the way it’s going to happen.

What if we fully embraced the notion that Christ lives in the depths of our hearts, waiting for us to recognize what that means? What if the second coming is actually each of us living as if the story of Jesus truly mattered? What if being a disciple of Jesus means to us what it meant to the ancient followers – that we live as Jesus lived? What if we read the story of Jesus with new eyes, seeing that we are instrumental in bringing the reign of Christ to the world by having compassion for those around us.

It is a custom in Christian churches to light candles on Christmas Eve. First, the priest or pastor lights a candle from the Christ candle. He or she lights the candles held by a group of people who in turn light the candles of those at the end of the rows of seats. Then, person by person, we light each other’s candles until everyone holds a light. The idea is to represent the light Jesus brought into the world.

What if we think about that light at Easter? What if Jesus is the torch used to light another torch, and another, and another until we are all carrying that glorious light into and throughout the world? No, it’s not the torch of our favorite doctrine. It’s the torch of living life as God created us to live in God’s amazing creation. It’s the torch of love and compassion for all of creation, not just my little corner of it. It’s the torch of hope in tomorrow. It’s the torch of knowing that we are loved by that which created us more than we can possibly understand. It’s the torch of listening to others as they tell us their stories of hope, compassion, and love…even when they use different words to describe the Creator.

It’s the torch of living each day as if the life of Jesus matters. There is resurrection in that…in living as Jesus did. It’s allowing the love and compassion expressed through the life of Jesus to be the torch that lights up the world. When we live as if Jesus matters, Jesus lives. When we neglect our torch, we crucify Him again…and again…and again.

At Easter we remember to be the light and to live each day forward as if the story of Jesus matters.

 

 

 

 

We-uns and you-uns…

31 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, compassion, Easter, human nature, life lessons, polarization, relationships, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , ,

imagesWe-uns and you-uns. Us and them. Republicans and democrats. My neighborhood, school or church and your neighborhood, school or church. Christian or Muslim or athiest or Jewish. American citizen or immigrant. Male or female. Haves and have-nots. Baptist or Episcopal. Liberal or conservative. Straight or gay. Black or white.

Whatever group is identified lets us know where we belong and where we do not. We have successfully developed a world seeped in separation. You are either part of ‘us’ or you are one of ‘them’. When you get right down to it, we either don’t really like ‘them’, or, even worse, they are simply invisible to us. It is easier and gentler on our egos to cling to those whom we know, the groups where we understand the rules or those who accept us with all of our foibles and warts. Oh, it gets worse. Our human nature causes us to inappropriately elevate our group above the others making us and ours special and right. The others are simply naive, wrong, stupid, silly or naive. We have come to a point where we neglect to respect the fact that life experiences lead us to different places and understandings, ultimately internalizing the bogus opinion that we cannot possibly learn from or learn to love others who are ‘not like us’.

We-uns and you-uns. The underlying implication is that if you aren’t part of us, you are one of them and they aren’t worthy of our time.

You disagree with me? Think about it. We are caught up in recent worldwide bombings. Our media tends to focus on how many Americans are killed. It’s as if those are the only lives that matter. Tell that to the Pakistani families who are engulfed in sorrow or the Belgium survivors who are preparing to bury a loved one. Us and them…

Polarizations constantly challenge us. Who do we socialize with? What parts of town do we visit? Where do we spend our time? How well do we understand the perspectives of others that are not familiar to us? How much time do we spend talking through problems with the very real understanding that our view point is not the only viable alternative. Do we cling to our degrees and positions so mightily that we forget someone outside of our group could have insights that will make a difference? Whom do we listen to? Whom do we shun?

The very real problem is when we surround ourselves with similarly thinking others, we can become locked into a uniform perspective that tends be narrow and prejudicial. We begin to think that all people who are part of another group think, act, talk, dress and eat the same. They like the same things, make the same mistakes and listen to the same music. We forget that the ‘others’ are like us with unique skills, insights and ways of looking at life. Instead, we pigeon hole them into categories based on something other than what we actually know about them as a person, most likely because we never took the time to actually know them as a person.

We recently celebrated Easter. Families dressed up in pastel dresses and seersucker suits, enjoyed brunches, planned egg hunts, and slowed down enough to celebrate this Christian holy day. Some even took time out of their holiday events to spend time in worship. It’s as if we have forgotten who and what we are dedicating this day to. Is it the life, death and resurrection of Jesus?  And…knowing that how we live our lives is the greatest thing we can do to honor him? Or is it a chance to kiss winter good-bye with thoughts of bunnies, flowers and spring clothes?

Jesus was the great equalizer. He didn’t care if you were a Samaritan, a woman, a tax collector, a child, a Roman soldier or an invalid. He didn’t cling to his merry band of 12 and make jokes about those who weren’t part of his ‘in’ crowd. Instead, he spoke with whomever he came in contact with…not shunning, not judging…rather listening and accepting.

He didn’t know the difference between ‘us’ and ‘them’.

I am cynical. I listen to ‘good Christians’ bash those whom they have decided are not worthy. Jesus never did this. I see educated people slam others for their ideas, stating that ‘the other’ doesn’t know what they are talking about. Jesus didn’t do this. Our media pounces on differences, inciting people to pick sides and hate those who are part of the opposition. Nope…not Jesus. We can verbalize what he taught, pontificate on how he lived his life and theologize the depth of his love and compassion. Yet, when we observe the actions of those around us… and, if we are honest, of ourselves…it’s easy to question who or what we actually memorialize on Easter.

I wonder how many more Easters we will need to celebrate before we realize that it’s not about we-uns and you-uns. The real message asks us to ponder who we think we are in God’s world and how we will show love and respect for all who occupy it.

Lent, leaves and new life…

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Christianity, Lent, Lenten Meditaion, spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

13078766-girl-walking-a-dog-in-park-in-spring-silhouette-layered-one-in-the-series-of-similar-imagesThe snow finally melted and an occasional robin could be seen rummaging through our bird feeder. My neighbor spent an unseasonably warm afternoon in his garden; gently raking away decaying leaves to reveal the bold tips of iris, crocus and tulips peaking though the soil, brilliantly green against the dark earth as if to herald the promise of spring and new life.

It gave me pause to ponder. Is there something like leaves forming a protective barrier in my life? A barrier that needs to go away so I, too, can welcome newness in life? I suspect most of us have them. They tend to flutter over us during times of emotional turmoil. I also suspect many of us keep our leaves a bit longer than necessary simply because they shelter us from something or someone we think we need protection from. Then, over time, they become such an entrenched part of us that we let them cover our potential for living renewed, restored and refreshed in this crazy world. Some of those leaves have names, like “fear of failure”, “over commitment”, “entitlement”, “complacency”, “impatience”, “blame” and the list goes on.

It happened at about 2:00am. My mind was twisting around the day that was theoretically laid to rest about five hours earlier. But, as it so often occurs in the female brain, closed eyes become a screen for an instant replay of the day. I suppose that means there is unfinished business or something hanging, like a task or conversation that needs to be resolved. Whatever the reason, it’s frustrating! This particular unsettled night revolved around more angles than a complex geometric diagram and refused to choose any predictable path. I finally put it, and my weary self, to rest by pulling out that indispensable iPhone and writing a note to myself. It read:

We go through life with the delusion that another’s perception makes us who we are when the only thing that matters is our understanding of who we were created to be in God’s world.

I guess the light of day filtered the depth of those thoughts a bit reminding me that there are things in our lives that make it difficult to recognize who we truly are. Through words and actions people tell us who they think we are or who they want us to be. Sometimes they are motivated by their own comfort or benefit; sometimes they are right and we are encouraged by their insights; and sometimes they are wrong, yet we begin to doubt who we are and Whose we are because of their words. Yet, like the fall leaves remaining in a spring garden, we need to take time to gently rake away the doubts so we can continue moving toward the self we were created to be.

This brings us to Lent and the tradition of giving something up for the 40 days leading toward Easter. I have heard this described as a spiritual discipline designed to let us know how deeply damaged we are and how desperately we need salvation. I have also heard Lent portrayed as a time to focus on our personal list of foibles as if pondering our inherent awfulness will lead to anything positive, let alone new life. It’s as if Lent is a time when we are supposed to brow beat, self flagellate and generally focus on everything negative we have ever been or done as a means to convince ourselves that we are nothing but trouble in need of a great deal of grace. Wow! That’s depressing…

Lent has also been more positively described as a time to let go of the things that hold us back, keeping us from becoming all that God created us to be. A time to reflect on the things that are keeping us from entering the complete fullness of the relationship God longs to have with us; to repent those things, which simply means to turn away from them, replacing them with a more positive behavior; and rejoice that God loves us unimaginably and wants us to shine in the world with the new life freely offered and given to us.

I have made several failed attempts at giving up chocolate for lent. I just can’t see the point in it and, as a friend told me, “Lent is not a diet.” Lent is supposed to be something like the leaves…something to remove so that something else can grow. Several years ago I gave up shopping, much to my budget’s delight! By the third week, the grip of the mall lessened. I found myself sinking into gratitude for what was and not continually longing for something I didn’t have. Another year I gave up an item every day. My closets have never been so clean and I was again humbled by the unnecessary abundance that can clutter the importance of life.

So, what about this year? What will actually make a lasting difference in my perception of who I am in God’s world? What warm and comforting leaves do I need to let go of so that I can fully embrace who I am and Whose I am in God’s world? What sprouts of new and refreshed life do I need to nurture and allow to bloom as I navigate, and often stumble, through life? All of these are deep and difficult questions, worthy of a long walk outside where the fresh air and new life of spring will most certainly add some clarity to the answers.

What are you waiting for…

22 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Advent, Christmas, compassion, God, human nature, judgment, polarization, relationships, Responsibility, spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

UnknownThis week wraps up Advent, the liturgical season of waiting and preparation. Theology tells us we are waiting, as our ancient brothers and sisters did, for Emmanuel – the Hebrew word for “God is with us.” We, as they did, wait for God to come again as a powerful leader who will let us live our lives in peace, harmony, utopian perfection and all those things beauty queens talk about in their final interviews.  No doubt, we will be just as disappointed as they were when they finally came face to face with Jesus, the long awaited for king who was to take away all of their troubles and disappointments; who was to slay the enemy; and who was to make life in the land of milk and honey a reality. You see, we, too, have created our idea of the perfect savior and he…or she…most likely looks nothing like the model of compassion seen in the person of Jesus.

The question is, what exactly is it that we are waiting for? Is it that we long for time with God? You know, like the conversation starter, “If you could have dinner with anyone living or not living, who would it be?” I mean, who doesn’t have a list of questions for God all the way from the trivial to an explanation for the deeply painful events of life…things like why young mothers have to die or why hate is so prevalent in our world.

Or, are we stoically waiting for a time when we can live exactly as we think life should be. Maybe we long to be out of poverty; or we yearn for healing in a fractured relationship, for a child, health for an aging parent, or peace around the holiday table. Maybe we want the security of reassurance, as we fear for a loved one who is depressed; addicted to drugs and/or alcohol; or who is deployed to places we neither know nor understand. We might even be filled with anger at entire groups of people who don’t think, believe or live the way we do and we wait for our version of justice and wrath to change them so they see the world as we do without ever really understanding who they are.

We become absorbed with our ideas of what changes we would like to see in our world without considering that the next guy has similar thoughts. Often, we don’t even know the other guy…or gal. We just suppose they must be like everyone else who looks and acts and dresses the way they do. We vilify ethnicities, socioeconomic groups, genders, professions, bosses, politicians, neighbors, family members and anyone we can lump into a group of people that we perceive as different than us and the group we identify with.

And, we wait for God to let them know they are wrong and we are right. I mean, the world would definitely be a better place if only…right? And…we wait for Emmanuel to take care of our lives, our stresses, our frustrations and our anger.

There are those of us of a ‘certain age’ who remember the screech of a needle scratching across a record when someone quickly and recklessly wants the music to cease. It’s that sound of “stop” that should be playing in your head as you ponder these musings defining what we might be waiting for. Our wait should not be passive as if we are waiting for something outside of our control. Nor should our wait be narcissistically focused on self-interests and desires no matter how noble they may seem to be to our selves or those around us.

Rather, the question, “what are we waiting for” should be a call to action. What are we waiting for? Why don’t we cross cultural and ethnic barriers to learn about our neighbors? Why don’t we listen in conversation, a skill that can only guide us toward understanding, compromise and breaking down barriers? Why is our main action to point at another to magnify the splinter in their eye when we are suffering from a log in our own? (Matt. 7:3) What exactly is it that we are waiting for? Since the beginning of time we have been guided by God toward a better way, God’s way. Some call the place where God is in control heaven and they wait for the kingdom of heaven to simply happen. Jesus said, “The kingdom of heaven is among you.” (Luke 17:21) Was he talking about his presence with humanity? About God’s presence with us always and everywhere? Or was it a call to us to consider how we might be instrumental in bringing this crazy thing called heaven into a broken, hurting world?

Maybe it’s all of the above. Why are we waiting for God, in the form of Jesus, to come into the world again at some nebulous point when all we have to do is look around us to see God’s constant joyful, playful, and beautiful presence, laughing, weeping and beaconing us to walk with him…or her…as we navigate this complex thing called life?  And, once we see God’s presence…once we believe that God came to us in the form of Jesus, and again in the form of the Holy Spirit…once we truly believe that God constantly and consistently calls us as his very own sons and daughters to live as only she could create us to live, then – and only then will we understand the answer to the question, “what are we waiting for?” We must not wait! It is time to come together, not to belittle, berate or judge some other person; nor to act out of arrogance, entitlement or exclusivity. It is time to love God more than anything imaginable and, out of that immense love, it is time to compassionately engage in all of God’s creation so much that we have no possible choice other than to nurture all that God so masterfully and beautifully put together on this humble little planet.

We have been created and empowered by God and taught through the example Jesus set before us how to be light in the world. As the Christmas story unfolds, we see kings and shepherds; men and women; rich and poor; powerful and oppressed all come together, united and awed by the presence of God. If they could do it, what are we waiting for?

 

 

 

On humility and arrogance and pizza crust…

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by in human nature, love, relationships, Responsibility, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

imagesIt is actually quite fascinating to research the word “humility”. The definition ranges anywhere from a secular notion of being shy and timid to a theological perspective of understanding one’s self in relation to creation. Maybe that’s why the word is seldom used in conversation. It’s hard to know what meaning to assign to it!

Arrogance is quite the opposite. Definitions vary slightly in wording, but the general concept is someone who believes they are better, smarter or more important than another individual. Ouch! Who hasn’t fallen in this category at some time or another? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that advocates such self-promoting attitudes. Whose parent hasn’t bragged about one’s athletic, dance, acting and/or musical abilities or intellectual successes as something that makes them some how superior to others? You see, it was difficult to decide what word to use there. “Whose parent…” puts the emphasis on the offspring who grow up believing they are better or smarter and ultimately more important than the unfortunate kid down the block, in another school, from the wrong part of town, or cursed with the wrong family. If I had said, “What parent…” the responsibility for the better, smarter, more important attitude belongs to the supposed adult in the situation. Either way, arrogance is not only learned, but it is often supported by the words or modeled behavior of those in authority around us as the good and normal way to see the world.

Wait! What!?! Where did the “see the world” part come from? Isn’t that a stretch from “better, smarter and more important?” Nope. It is the direct result of how one sees oneself. Like, what eyes are you looking through? What is the lens of your worldview? How do you see yourself, whether its based on gender, race, skills and talents, a bulging bank account, or a myriad of other criteria, compared to others?

We have a lot of words ending in “ism” that speak to worldview…racism, socialism, communism, fascism, absolutism, illusionism, separatism, capitalism, consumerism, monotheism, pacifism, narcissism, and the list goes on. The problem is, we either cling to our “ism” for the exclusive group we think it allows us to belong to and where that puts us in relation to the rest of humanity, or we resent the “ism” because it categorizes us in a way we perceive as negative and not good enough when compared to the next guy. Either way, we tend to think our “ism” is the result of our being better, smarter and more important…than the others around us. That, my friends, is arrogance – a condition we all share to a certain degree.

As I am writing this, I am making pizza crusts. I make exceptionally good pizza crust. They aren’t the best pizza crusts ever, but they are definitely in the awesome category. I use a sourdough recipe that I also use for baguettes. By replacing some of the white flower with whole wheat, pumpernickel or cornmeal, I can make a variety of breads or bagels. Adding nuts, spices, herbs or dried fruit increases the number of possibilities from simple pizza crust and baguettes to seasonal, ethnic or artisan breads, rolls, pastries, and crackers. You see, to limit the life of my sourdough to pizza crust would prevent experiencing so many remarkable flavors – flavors that speak to emotions in indescribable ways. The butter dripping from a piece of limpa rye reminds me of my Scandinavian ancestors while a week old dry crust reminds me that not everyone has access to fresh, healthy food and water. Additionally, recognizing that others are incredibly gifted with wonderful abilities doesn’t negate the fact that my pizza crust is really, really good; rather it reminds me that others are equally adept at the things they are good at and if we all work together we can make a pretty spectacular meal, incorporating that which we all have to offer while not being limited to or by any one set of talents.

The Apostle Paul said it much more clearly in Romans 12:3-8

 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

You see, arrogance causes us to forget we are part of something bigger than we are. It limits our ability to see the gifts and talents of those around us, denying us all the opportunity to live and grow together.

Which brings us back to humility. To be shy and timid isn’t the same as being humble, or living with humility. Neither is humility the act of self-deprecation. These traits can actually prevent one from living into the gifts and talents Paul spoke of. Rather, to live humbly…or to live with humility…is to recognize the amazing gifts and talents God has given not only to you but also to others and to celebrate these gifts as necessary parts for the wholeness of living. In the Gospels Christ taught us both verbally and through living his life what whole living looks like – to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. To love God means that we not only love God, but we also love all of the sons and daughters who, like us, have been carefully designed by God to complete a piece of the wholeness of creation.

We aren’t created to be better, smarter or more important than anyone or anything. We must remember who we are and Whose we are. Eugene Peterson’s translation of Micah 6:8 in The Message states it well:

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

Humility…the art of recognizing ones place in creation. Our challenge is to live into the essence of who we were created to be while remembering that every person who has ever lived, who is living now or who is to come is just as special to God as we are. Arrogance limits how we see others and ourselves. We can only find the freedom to live wholly and completely in humility.

Sabbath rules and chocolate cake…

22 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by in Christianity, compassion, human nature, love, relationships, Sabbath, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

imagesThe concept of Sabbath rest has all but disappeared. Maybe it’s our fast-paced culture with competitive deadlines for everything from work goals and preparations to how many times we work out in a week to when the youngest child is officially potty trained and at what age our children learn to read, play the piano, get admitted to college…with a full ride scholarship…or create the next Nobel prize winning solution for sustainable energy. We jump on the treadmill of life and think we are riding it to fulfillment. Yet, something seems to be missing. Maybe we just need to try harder – one more class, one more private lesson, one more camp, lecture, hour at work, pound lost, and the list goes on to infinitude…another purse, a new car, membership at the club, a promotion, partnership…

There doesn’t seem to be time to rest!

Another group of people become enslaved by something they call Sabbath. It begins with some form of worship, which is good! The problem is, it threads through a day governed with “you must not” decrees. “You must not work.” “You must not play sports.” “You must not shop.” “You must not cook, clean, mow the lawn or wash the car.” Troubling questions about the “you must not’s” include, if I go to dinner at a restaurant, am I forcing someone else to sin because it means they are working on the Sabbath? Or, what do I tell my son or daughter’s soccer team when they have a game or, worse yet, a tournament on the Sabbath? What if the Sabbath is the only day of the week I have to run errands, buy groceries, do laundry and plan for the upcoming week? What if I have to work on the Sabbath? It’s as if the religious rules for the Sabbath squelch emotional relaxation rather than secure the intended outcome of renewing and refreshing human life.

The problem might be in how we recognize and practice Sabbath rest.

Mark 2:27-28 has been batted around for years as a key to understanding what the Sabbath is all about.

Then he said to them, ‘The Sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the sabbath; so the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.’

It’s all good until the last part. At face value, it sounds like we can do whatever we want to do on the Sabbath because it’s made for humankind! But, like much of scripture, it becomes a bit naggy and hard to understand. What does it mean to say “the Son of Man is Lord…even of the Sabbath?” The key can be found in the verses right before, where the Christ and the disciples glean some grain from a field because they were hungry, and the verses following when Christ healed a man’s withered hand. So what gives with that? We can garden and heal on the Sabbath? But nothing else? Jesus, lord of the Sabbath, let us know that stuff happens…even on the Sabbath…and deep human compassion comes before human devised strict rules

Maybe if we go back to the instructions given to the Israelites in Exodus 20:8 about the Sabbath we can find another clue.

Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.

Yes, this is the 4th of the 10 Commandments. It is a bridge between the first 3, which speak about our relationship with God and the final 6 which guide us in family, business, neighbor, friend and all human relationships. There is something here…something that is essential for living as God created us to live in the world that God created for us to live in.

Tripping even further back in scripture we find the stories of creation in Genesis 1:1-2:3, which narrates a 7-day account of creation, and Genesis 2:4-25, which focuses on humanity’s creation. Keep in mind; these are creation stories – not historical accounts. They were designed to let the listeners or readers know that God created the earth, plants, animals and people. God saw that all these things were good and then sat back and rested after such frenzied activity.

So, where does that leave us in our 21st century lives?

Sometimes we simply have to take a break from the routine of life. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job or something fun – we need a break from it. That break time has a purpose. Some of that time should be spent in meditation, worship, prayer or whatever it is that keeps us mindful that God is here, with us, alive and present in all things. Read that again…here, with us, alive and present in all things. God isn’t distant and contained in some ambiguous place above the clouds. God is here, with us, alive and present in all things. When we pause, we need to recognize and celebrate that presence in each other, in nature, in our pets, our employees, our bosses, our teammates, our neighbors, our relatives and our own hearts. It’s looking at the pause as time to remember and find ways to enact the entirety of the 10 Commandments as loving God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves. Whose are we and how do we live once we embrace God (Jesus) as Lord?

Okay, it can all seem like theological rhetoric, but what does the Sabbath pause actually mean in our lives today?

Everything, even the good stuff, can get old if we saturate our lives with it. I call it the chocolate cake theory simply because I LOVE chocolate cake. However, if I ate chocolate cake every day it would become routine and unappreciated; dull and somewhat boring. I could dress it up with ice cream, which would make it appealing for a day or two. Or, add a ganache topping, some whipped cream and a cherry. I can keep busy making my chocolate cake better and better with more and more and more…or I could pause and remember why I like chocolate cake. You see, for me chocolate cake reminds me of being a child and enjoying a family celebration. I remember rooms filled with love and laughter as family members shared stories and the rich history of who we are and from whom we came from. It is those kinds of memories that thread through and impact all that we do if we simply take the time to reflect and remember. When we forget to pause, we go on autopilot and forget the essence of why we do what we do…the who we are and Whose we are concept.

I can certainly go back to chocolate cake after the pause, but maybe this time I will see it differently. I might share it with someone who needs a gentle bit of encouragement or who is grieving a loss. Maybe I’ll share it with a friend who is celebrating a wonderful event. I might take a piece to the neighbor who is alone and struggling with life. You see, the memories of why I love chocolate cake become as important as the cake itself, but only if I take the time to remember.

I don’t know if it is right or wrong to work, shop, or play sports on the sabbath. I do know if we pause and remember that God is love, that love will guide us in all we do making the specifics a moot point.

For those of you following Sophia Meditations, you know that I haven’t written my weekly blog for some time now. You see, I needed a pause to refresh, renew and remember. Now, it’s time to have some chocolate cake!

 

 

 

Relationships, judging and crummy movies…

03 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by in Christianity, compassion, human nature, relationships, spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

Some things make me crazy. For example, I hate weeds in my garden; pushy people make me irrational; spotted windows challenge my inner OCD; and find another place to be if my computer, cell phone and/or iPad decide not to work. I try to keep it all in perspective, but some things are tipping points – plain and simple.

The thing that brings me to borderline insanity is when I am around people who have decided they know what I think without taking the time to talk with me about my beliefs and opinions. It seems to be epidemic in our culture today.

We watched a movie the other night. It was not Hollywood’s finest. In all actuality, the plot should have taken about 10 minutes. The film run time was padded with repeated statements, scene’s that made me ever so glad our children didn’t watch it with us and adjectives that would make a Sailor blush. (With all due respect to our United States Navy and what they do to protect and support humanitarianism and world freedom.) The scenario depicted three young men who were either leaving or avoiding relationships. One line made the movie worth the time we invested in it: “…and being there when someone needs you is all relationships are.”

Such a simple statement! It takes the pressure off, doesn’t it? Well, maybe. The key to understanding the concept of a relationship lies in the words “being there”. It reminds us that there is actually some form of responsibility involved in a relationship. Like, a relationship is more than simply enjoying another person’s company and having a good time hanging out with them. There comes a time when something draws us to dive beneath the surface and bring us to that place where we would support, help, guide, nurture, stand beside, rescue, protect, or praise the person we happen to say we are in a relationship with. You know, be there when life happens whether it’s a good or a not so good thing.

But, to be there you have to know the other person. What do they actually believe? How do they really feel about a situation? It isn’t enough to think you know about them simply because of some form of generalizations you make regarding their work, political slant, or spiritual beliefs. Nor is it fair to categorize anyone based on gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, the neighborhood they live in, the car they drive, the complexity or simplicity of their intellect or whether or not they have bad breath. Hmmm – it all sounds a lot like judging someone when we use these traits to assume we know what and how a person thinks.

In his amazing and divine wisdom, Jesus addressed this issue of judgment towards others. Some denominations have turned the concept of judging into a statement of eschatology complete with the false claim of having an insider’s knowledge of who will pass through the pearly gates and who will spend eternity in hell. Unfortunately, to believe that I am in the “saved” category simply because I ascribe to a particular self-righteous lifestyle and subsequently make attempts to bring you into the fold on the pretense that you must change your ways because they are different than mine and therefore they put you in the ‘unsaved’ category is nothing less than absurd. That perspective masks the true intent of Christ’s statement.

You see, Jesus’ messages to us are all pretty uncomplicated. The real beauty is that he didn’t just say them; he lived like he believed them. We all know his statement about the greatest two commandments. Many Christians don’t realize he begins with the Shema, the central prayer of the Jewish faith which can be found in Deuteronomy 6.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.  Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

In Matthew 22 Christ elaborates on the Shema, not changing it…rather expanding on the meaning of loving God.

He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

This should lead us to deepening our understanding of “loving” God. You see, when we love God with all of our hearts, with all of our souls and with all of our minds we also love all that God created and all that God loves…which is pretty much everything.

This brings us back to judging others and how doing so moves against the concept of love.  Jesus gave us a simple statement for this as well.

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?

There is something about our human nature that compels us to live by comparison, as if our achievement ratings make us something special. In essence, Jesus called this a myopic perspective. You know, things that are near can be seen clearly, but things that are far away become blurred. He just used logs and specks to make the point clear to his listeners. Sometimes we need a corrective lens to see the blurred images. Sometimes that lens is a long conversation that pulls us out of judging another and into a place of understanding the value of their opinions…even if we don’t agree with them.

Unfortunately, we have some form of misguided belief that friends are people who see eye to eye on everything. First, that isn’t really possible and second, watch how fast such a friendship fails when one party or the other experiences a differing opinion. Those kinds of friendships are based on looking at the other person as a reflection of ourselves and absolutely liking what we see. The more we look, the more we like…until we see a wart, a zit, a blemish that threatens the perfection of our egocentric self. Then, we judge…and they judge…we judge some more…and so it goes.

It is actually much easier to judge someone we don’t know at all. We read a news article or see a television report. Maybe we hear about them from a friend who heard something from another friend. By focusing on the other person’s perceived failures, I might feel pretty good about where I am in life. But, what if I actually meet that person and talk to them? What story will they be able to tell me about the experiences that drew them into certain behaviors or activities? How are their beliefs different than mine? Is there something I can learn from knowing who they are and where they come from? How will my life change as a result of knowing them? How will their life change as a result of knowing me?

Therein lies the depth of meaning in a simple statement from a decidedly bad movie. “Being there when someone needs you is all that relationships are.” To be there, I have to care. I have to know what will help and what won’t. To know those things can only come from knowing the other person. No, not assuming I know them and what’s best for them, but knowing who they are and what they need from me right now…right here.

There is a story about farming in Kenya. The farms were producing poorly. Mission groups talked about teaching the Kenyans to increase their crop production through irrigation systems, better seed, crop rotation and the techniques that American farmers use. However, when they sat down and talked with the Kenyans, they learned that the problem was because of elephants. The solution was to build fences to keep the elephants out of the crops.

Relationships = being there (conversation + listening + understanding – judgment)

There is nothing in the equation about agreeing with everything the other person says, does or believes. It’s essence is in  caring enough about another person to take that proverbial walk in their shoes – along with them.

‘

Political correctness, tolerance and Picasso…

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, compassion, human nature, political correctness, relationships, spirituality, tolerance

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

I am sick of political correctness. I think it has more to do with the ‘political’ part of the phrase. Nor am I a fan of tolerance. It smacks of sanctimony and arrogance. It’s our human nature to place a level of righteousness on our beliefs and hold them as the proper perspective in a given the situation. To tolerate alternative ideas is to support another person’s right to think any old way they choose while maintaining my right to feel superior for having the accurate and appropriate belief. Yuck! Who wants to be around that?

Now, about political correctness. I believe there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors that should be based on civility, manners and compassion. Most world religions have ethical and moral guidelines that let us know when we are playing ‘nice’ and when we are being tasteless and need to rethink our motivation to say or do certain things. Unfortunately, the politically correct movement seems to be generated by those who want to seem tolerant so they instruct the rest of us on what is acceptable – or not – based on their standards and find anyone who doesn’t agree to be intolerant thereby making the alleged tolerant group intolerant of those whom they deem intolerant. You get my point??? Who gets to decide what is correct and what isn’t? It seems be the opinion of the loudest voice when, indeed, there are times that person or group must be challenged.

I am not contending that certain behaviors in our culture don’t need to go away – permanently. It’s not okay to make generalizations about groups of people based on race, gender, socioeconomic level, intellectual abilities, disabilities, hair color, eye color, state they live in, country they came from, sexual preference, books they like or what side they prefer to lay on when they sleep. Not okay! But, we all pretty much know that and, for the most part, are conditioned to be…well, tolerant.

Then there are the groups that the politically correct crowd has decided are fair game for ridicule with absurd generalizations. Just try saying you are Christian, or God forbid…fundamentalist Christian. Throw in a splash of Republican slant and let the games begin. At this point you will become a woman hating, money hungry, uncompassionate, hypocritical homophobe. There are some who might be! The problem is embedded in thinking that everyone within a demographic feels, behaves and believes the same way. Further, the targeted group is judged without tolerance or giving an individual the respect to be heard.

My guess is some of you agreed with me regarding generalizations about race, gender, yada, yada, yada. But, when I got to the hot button buzzwords some polarized in one direction and others were crazed the other way. The thing is, political correctness only welcomes those groups that the politically correct movement chooses to accommodate. Those falling outside of their chosen agendas seem to be fair game to categorize and ridicule.

You also might be wondering why this rant is showing up in a blog that is traditionally focused on Christian spirituality. It’s pretty simple. Nowhere in scripture does Jesus attempt to sway anyone toward his beliefs with sarcasm or contempt for who they are or where they come from. He accepted – not tolerated – Samaritans, tax collectors, prostitutes, crazy people, women, Pharisees and an entire litany of fringe groups as he walked among us. Notice the word ‘us’? He didn’t stay away from or make fun of those people. It didn’t matter who they were! Nor did he arrogantly tolerate them. His compassion included full acceptance for the person he was talking to. It wasn’t about shaming them into thinking his way or accusing them of being less worthy of his time if they were different than him. He showed compassion for all and it was through that compassion that people grew beyond the prejudicial thoughts that bound them.

And, yes, there are fringe groups in all world religions that maintain radical beliefs that unless we look, think and believe with them, we are not worthy of God’s love. I prefer to let God make that determination, thank you very much. Again, if we believe that God loved the world and sent Christ to teach us God’s ways, then we must recognize that God loved the WORLD – not just my corner of it, or my particular group of cronies. Everyone is included in that love. Even the people we make fun of or shame or avoid because they don’t share our physical characteristics, lifestyle or beliefs.

Think of Picasso. Did you know that he not only painted, he created sculptures, ceramics, tapestries and drawings? Further, not all of his paintings are abstract. If I happen into a museum exhibiting his work, I may resonate with one piece over another, although I wouldn’t think to destroy the integrity of a painting or statue that I didn’t understand. Then, if I choose to study his life and art, I might begin to see the beauty in a piece that I previously dismissed. Maybe it will be in his use of color or in the grace or elegance depicted through the flow of lines in his subject. I might become so consumed with his works that I internalize the intimacies of his art and no longer need to look for his signature as a means to recognize the creator.

It is much like our relationship with God. It’s no coincidence that scripture begins with two equally beautiful descriptions of God’s joy in creating all that we know and exclaiming, “it is good”. I guess “good” includes cockroaches and snakes, although I’m not sure why. It also includes all those people who are different than me, as well as dogs, cats, tomatoes, trees and ponds. When I look at these things, not simply as objects around me, but rather as the art of God – the things God made – I recognize the artist’s love for each and every object in his/her collection and I learn to handle those items as if I truly believe they are good.

Ellen DeGeneres said it quite well in regard to her comedy:

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.

Sometimes we bully to get a laugh, to make a point, to get a political vote or in a misguided attempt to elevate our own status or power. It’s never okay – not under the guise of political correctness or the equally offensive buzzword “tolerance”. It is okay to honestly and respectfully share perspectives and grow in acceptance of someone who is different than you, remembering all the while that you are indeed different to them as well.

An open letter to my children on Mother’s Day…

11 Sunday May 2014

Posted by in Christianity, compassion, meditation, Mother's Day, relationships, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

imagesFirst, and most important, I love you guys. Of course I have great memories and lots of pictures of the days you were born; preschool, high school, and college graduations; birthdays; vacations; dance and music recitals; sports; proms; and all the milestones of the growing-up years. I have attempted to fill photo albums with your lives. Honestly, they are pretty tacky. That’s no surprise since we all know scrapbooking is not one of my strong suits. More recently, I’ve started making slide shows of my digital shots, although it is slow and laborious for me. No, it’s not the technology. It might surprise you that I actually have that somewhat under control. My problem is that I keep hampering my progress to savor the memories and, subsequently, hunting for a tissue.

Although we have succeeded in capturing the major moments of your lives, I hold even dearer the remarkable times that Hallmark hasn’t yet dedicated to a card campaign. I think of you, Bill, asking me where you should go to college…when you were two. “Honey, let’s get you to preschool first!” But, that was the theme of your life – always ready for the next chapter before I got past the table of contents. And, Christie, with your gentle approach to life and recognizing the need to live and let live you taught me to slow down and recognize the beauty in a situation. Two children with opposite, yet equally amazing, approaches to life.

You see, neither of you came with an owner’s manual. It’s probably a good thing! It would have scared the tar out of me to read ahead about what to do for chicken pox, ear infections, visits to the principal’s office, adolescent drivers, broken hearts and all of the crazy twists life sent your way. It was far better to experience each day for what it was and worry about the ‘stuff’ when and if something occurred.

The lack of instructions also meant I wasn’t prepared for the last bedtime story. When did that happen? I don’t even remember what book it was. When was the last time I held your hand to keep you safe in the parking lot? When did I stop sewing cute little dresses or spend the afternoon outside while you played in the sandbox and on the fort? When did you stop arguing over Happy Meals at McDonald’s or the special toy at Burger King? Or when was the last time you crawled in my lap for hugs and snuggles while we watched TV? In the thick of your growing up, some events passed right on by, unnoticed until I looked back and realized you both became adults…compassionate, honest, independent, responsible citizens…all that I could have hoped for. Yet, I am afraid I blinked several times too many, allowing you to shoot into the next stage before I knew what was really happening.

I remember shopping one day and hearing the store’s pianist playing “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof.

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?

I don’t remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn’t it yesterday
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears.

Yes, you guessed it. I had to leave the mall before I made a scene.

Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to say thank-you to you, my beautiful children. You have challenged me, stretched me, honored me, and loved me – even when I didn’t fully understand that you were the only ones who couldn’t do something that everyone else’s mothers let them do. You gave me the opportunity to discover how to function with very little sleep; to hear playful activities over the hum of the shower; how to stock my car with hand wipes, spot cleaner, kleenex, napkins, trash bags, snacks and 100 other items you may need on any given outing; and to organize schedules so everyone got to where they needed to be on time – which is no easy feat for someone who has never respected the clock.

More importantly, you taught me to care about someone’s life and well being more than my own and to love unconditionally. And, for that, I cannot tell you how thankful I am.

You see, children are indeed a gift from God. I don’t care if they are your own, nieces and nephews or the kids next door. Children challenge us to think creatively and to question why things are done the way they are. They help us to see frogs and flowers and mud puddles. They remind us that the world is a beautiful and amazing place for us to touch, taste, smell, hear and see God’s presence threaded throughout all that is. I love, even today, experiencing life through your eyes. You challenge me to rethink old notions and thoughts; to hike on muddy, rocky paths…both in reality and metaphorically; and to embrace all that life has to offer. I am deeply grateful for that, too.

So, on this day, thank-you for the flowers and the dinner. Thank you for the phone calls and the “I love you’s”. But, most of all, thank you for the memories and the assurance that we will continue to navigate this crazy thing called “life” together. 

Marriage, Puppies, and Unconditional Love…

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by in compassion, human nature, love, marriage, spirituality

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

imagesRelationships can be pretty darn hard. After almost 3 decades of marriage, there are still days when I wonder what in the world my husband is thinking. Of course, even though I frequently choose not to admit it, he has similar thoughts about me. It is an interesting phenomenon to think about, particularly as the wedding-season is approaching. I mean, what do you tell young people as they look at you with starry eyes and ask the rhetorical question, “How do you make a marriage last?” The first thing I typically think is that I am being patronized because of my age. You know, ask the old queen an easy question so she can preserve whatever brainpower she has left. Then, my thoughts move to questioning the intent of the question. Is this soon-to-be young bride or groom seriously wondering about maintaining the health of their relationship or do they want reassurance that their partnership is special and immune from dissolving into frustration, arguing and potentially divorce?

There are many people I know, including my husband and myself, that have had what we now fondly refer to as our “starter marriages”. These unions began with optimism about what life should be after the I-do’s, but can’t withstand the realities that present themselves as life moves on. Some are doomed from the start simply because of unrealistic expectations. You know, things like, “It will be better when we are married,” or “I am ___ years old and it’s time for me to settle down”. Some marriages expire when one party or the other realizes they were in love with what they wanted the other person to be rather than to clearly see who they are. Still others end because our culture is not very good at making things work. There seems to be a belief that if a relationship is hard, it’s not meant to be.

Allow me to sidebar at this point. Some marriages are not meant to be! Substance and/or physical and emotional abuse are deal killers. When they occur, the relationship is over. There are some amazingly strong people who can rise beyond their behaviors and addictions with professional help. These individuals have my utmost respect.

So, what makes a marriage last? Go to any wedding shower and you will find sage advice woven into the conversation or, more obtrusively, written on cards that are presented with high hopes to the young couple. Honestly, to tell them to be open and honest at all times and to never go to bed angry sound good. But, how long do those virtues continue after the “I do’s”? “Open and honest” is well and good until the first bad haircut or the pants that actually do make one’s backside appear larger than normal. How about “open and honest” when the in-laws are coming for an extended visit? Or after making an expensive, special, time involved dinner that tastes like cardboard? How open should one actually be? Honesty is vital, but what happens when it falls in the category of being brutal?

Then we have the concept of never going to bed angry. Really? As if anything is actually accomplished in the midst of fatigue after a long, frustrating day when all one really wants to do is go to sleep? In theory, rest and sleep are better when stress is minimal, but the reality is there will be times when it takes more than a day or two to resolve some issues. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. It simply means there is something big in the way and it will take some pondering, soul searching, introspection, prayer and, possibly, professional help to come out on the other side of it. Like the other difficulties we face in life, these times can be catalysts for growth and deepening our understanding of who we are – both as individuals and as partners.

Again, what makes a marriage last? It took some years to figure this one out. The funny thing is, it is not as complicated as we try to make it. Maya Angelou phrased it beautifully in her famous quote:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Herein lies the key. It’s not about the money or the children. It doesn’t matter if the house is big or small or if the car is new or old. Nor does it matter if one partner or the other travels 5 days a week or works long hours. What does matter is that in the midst of life, both people feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe. I guess that’s where open and honest fit in. Beautiful words and gestures mean nothing if they aren’t believable. But, when they are backed up by complete honesty, they are cupid’s arrow to the heart. Love begins and renews itself over and over again.

The thing is, this mantra doesn’t work only in marriage. It is important in the workforce, at school, with our children or in any other interaction we have. We avoid the people who make us feel inferior, stupid, naive, or incapable, yet we migrate toward those who encourage, praise, admire or complement our actions. We long to be acceptable and accepted.

I think that’s why I love my dog so much. It doesn’t matter what mood I am in, how unorganized or crazy I feel, if I have dressed up for the day or if I am schlunking around the house in pajamas. She offers me the gift of unconditional love. Because of that, I can forget that she gnawed on the dining room rug, (it’s been replaced), or had her way with a little used chair, (the upholsterer is coming to pick it up one of these days). What I do remember is that she is always glad to see me and share her tail wags and puppy kisses.

You see, I believe God is the same way. God will love me always – in spite of my moods, my outbursts, and every personality wart that makes me…well, ME. To know and recognize God’s unconditional love allows me to chisel away at my more negative side and let the good shine through just a little more. God’s love makes me feel a little safer, a bit calmer…and the list goes on.

So, what about marriage? What makes a marriage last? In my opinion, the cryptic answer is embedded in knowing puppies, God and the wisdom of Maya Angelou.

Maybe we should expand on the statement, “I do” and make it “I do intend to make you feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe every day of my life and if I don’t, I am counting on you to love me unconditionally until I do again.”

That should come right before, “And I promise to always pick up my socks.”