Category Archives: choices

So… what about Monday?

05 Saturday Apr 2014

Posted by in choices, compassion, Lenten Meditaion, meditation, Sabbath, spirituality, Uncategorized

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Monday has many promises attached to it. Traditionally, it’s back-to-whatever-your-work-is day after the weekend.  It might be a job, school, work out routines, yard work, household chores, errands and the litany of things that keep us busy and, theoretically, our lives running smoothly. Well, maybe not smoothly…but running. You know, back to the ‘old grind’, vacation’s over and the longing for a quick week so once again we can enjoy the change of pace on the weekend. That is, if we allow our pace to change. I am referring to the weekends that are filled with athletic events, social gatherings, yard work, house work …wash the car, tidy the garage, sweep the walks and try somehow to finish all the things we didn’t seem to have time for during the work week. Before you know it, Monday’s sunrise forces us to peel our eyes open and grudgingly pull our bones out of bed. It’s easy to feel like a hamster chained to the spinning wheel of produce, accomplish and succeed.

We know that Sabbath rest is a time for us to say, “no” to routine tasks so we can drift into the things that restore our souls and our outlook on life. Worship is one of those things. Picnics, baseball games, gardening, family gatherings, long walks with the dog, and peaceful naps are too. Sabbath is about remembering who we are and Whose we are. It’s a time to remember the One who loves us more than we can ever imagine and, out of gratitude for that love, seeing the world around us as a place to enjoy and nurture. It’s a time to laugh with loved ones and friends. It’s a time for compassion for all of creation. It’s a time to put aside the pressures of the week and remember who and what is important. It’s a time to refresh and restore.

So…what about Monday? The New York Times has reported that more heart attacks happen on Mondays than any other day of the week…a day when we should actually feel ready to meet the challenges that come our way.

The problem with Monday is how we practice Sabbath rest. When my kids were young and played organized sports, they were told, “how you practice is how you play.” Imagine a coach teaching detailed soccer skills at practice in preparation for a tournament. Unfortunately, it’s a basketball tournament. Did the wrong skills become routine? Or, were they headed toward the wrong competition?

The transition between Sabbath and Monday isn’t much different. Sabbath is an opportunity to practice what it means to be human – the kind of human that God intentionally and lovingly created. It’s not about practicing religious legalisms that show nothing except that we know how to follow the rules of our denomination; rather it’s about living life as God longs for us to live it – loving God above all things and loving our neighbor are ourselves. We have scripture and the example of Christ’s life to show us what Sabbath looks like. The Gospels offer stories about Jesus spending his Sabbath laughing with friends, caring for the sick and needy, sharing a meal, extending a hand and offering hope to those who have none – even if those things looked like something that ‘shouldn’t’ be done by a good religious person on a day that’s set aside for Godly things. In all reality, what can be more Godly than showing and sharing compassion?

Our theoretical tournament starts on Monday morning. Do we play the way we practiced? Or do we walk into Monday forgetting our Sabbath lessons? Do we get out our claws and methodically use them to further our position on the corporate ladder? Or forget that we aren’t the only person using the road to get to work? Maybe we tie up the line in the grocery store because we forgot an item and ran back to get it? How about our use of household and laundry products that harm the earth? Ever get frustrated and kick the dog? Do we become so obsessed with our desire to produce that we forget what we supposedly spent time trying to remember just a day or two ago? You know – the whole compassion, caring, loving thing?

You see Monday should be about the game…the one God calls us to play. Yes, production at work is a reality and yes, chores can become mundane and boring. But, if we play the way we practice we will “focus on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, [we will] think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8) Our actions will then reflect that goodness.

If we neglect those amazing sabbath lessons, we run the risk of letting production and power guide our choices. Throw in a little envy for those who seem to have it better than we do, some contempt for those who we think have wronged us and a bit of prejudice and hostility for the things we think are wrong with the world and we have the perfect recipe for stress, anger and depression…the antithesis of God’s longing and hopes for us.

The thing is, it’s easy to get sucked into life as the world teaches it should be lived. So easy that unless we continuously practice sabbath rest, love and compassion we will fall into the abyss of life according to the gods of power, wealth and productivity.

Which life is on your game card? What will your practice be to prepare you for game-day?

Jesus calls to us in Matthew 11:29 as he says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

My prayer is to practice the restorative and refocusing Sabbath rest found in living as Jesus calls us to live and to take that foundation with me as I play in this crazy tournament called life.

 

The death of a man…

22 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in choices, compassion, hate, human nature, Lenten Meditaion, love, spirituality, Uncategorized

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I clearly recall the day I saw the gathering on the sidewalk. Several police officers were stationed on the opposite side of the street watching the men, women and children who held pickets splattered with messages depicting a belief that it is somehow God’s will for anyone who doesn’t fit within a narrow spectrum of behavior to die a horrible and painful death. Furthermore, if we show any love or compassion for their targeted population, we should share the same vengeful fate. Additionally, our national acceptance of all people is in jeopardy as proven when our military men and women die while defending, amongst other things, our right to speak as viciously as this famous group of people who erroneously call themselves a ‘church’, ‘believers in God’, and, I choke on the word, ‘Christians’.

It was all I could do to keep from driving onto the walkway to permanently silence them. How could they infect children with this distorted perception of God and how God feels about humanity? Children are born beautifully open to people of all colors, religions, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and abilities. They can only enter the box of prejudice with instruction from the adults they look up to. This group of adults damages the innocence of their children as they attacked people unknown to them, an attack generated simply because they did not share the group’s distorted religious beliefs. The day I saw them, they stood in front of a building that served Jewish believers on Saturday and offered Christian services on Sunday. It wasn’t their traditional venue of tormenting grieving families at military funerals; yet, it exemplified their perverted position that God sees life the way they see it.

Then it happened. Their patriarch and church founder died. His passing has permeated not only the news, but also clutters social media sites and seems to be the topic of choice for many, like myself, who write or preach about spiritual matters. I didn’t intend to write about his passing. But, it has been gnawing at me. The thing is, I like to think I’m not writing about his life; rather I am meditating on how his life has affected our society. The only significance I find in his life and death is in the overall goodness of society and the pervasive attitude that we must never stoop to his level of hate. News reports and social media comments share a general message of compassion for his family as they mourn their loss. A few have threatened to picket his funeral just as he did to others. But, each of these remarks have been met with reminders of a loving God and encouragement to show the family compassion. Even the church I mentioned above had a message in their signage asking for peace as he enters eternity.

What I see in all of this is God’s hand. God was in the crowds who created barriers at gravesides to protect grieving families from their venom. God is present in the goodness and peaceful wishes extended to his family as they grieve. God is in every heart that weeps for this man and the life he lived never knowing the love and grace God extends to all. God himself (herself?) probably weeps with intense sadness that this man, God’s beloved, never knew the joy God showered around him throughout his life. He only knew the deity of hate he created in his mind to support his fears and prejudices about people who were not like him.

The problem is, this man is not totally unlike us. His example is of a life lived without compassion. Yet, we have the potential to live in his world when it is convenient for us. We claim we would never teach a child to hate, but what are we doing to teach them to love? What do we teach them when we are angry with someone and rant about that person’s less desirable characteristics? What if those attributes include an ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or disabilities that the child transfers to all people with those traits? Further, we think we would never stand in the midst of another’s grief and shout scathing epitaphs about their loved one deserving to die. Yet, we might find ourselves unwilling to forgive someone who has wronged us and secretly hope they experience pain.

I like to think I live out of compassion for all of God’s creation. Yet, I am sure there are times when God shakes his (her) head at my choices. My prayer is that as I continue to navigate this crazy thing called “life”, I grow increasingly aware of God’s love and presence in all things…so aware that I have no choice but to make the right choice.

As for you Mr. Phelps, I believe in the power of God’s love. It is because of that belief, I pray you will rest in peace, finally knowing yourself as God’s beloved, fully aware of the pain your hate rendered and equally conscience of the incredible mercy God shared with you when God called you home.

Epilogue: The family of the man picketed again last night. On the other side of the street was a group of people with a single banner that read, “We are sorry for your loss.” Some hear God’s gentle nudge to meet hate with compassion and some are deafened by the noise of their own prejudice. Most of us fall somewhere in between…

Puppy collars, Jiminy Cricket and Choices…

06 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in choices, compassion, love

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IMG_0383Lucy, the puppy-girl, has a new training program. I resisted it until I fully realized that her behavior was preventing us from having friends visit us in our home. No one likes to be jumped on by a 50-pound dog! Additionally, I have replaced a rug and reupholstered a chair because Lucy likes to chew. I tried to justify these purchases by saying the chair and rug were old and needed to go away. But, the fact remained that my dog was running the household and our lives. She supposedly passed Puppy Training 1001 three times. I have the certificates to prove it! Although, each class had the philosophy that everyone gets a trophy on the last day, which offered no guarantee that important lessons were learned. Lucy was potty trained and could heel when we took her on take long, happy walks. But, her behavior at home wasn’t acceptable and didn’t seem to be getting any better. One trainer told us to ignore bad behavior and reward her when she did something good. I ran out of treats and she continued to terrorize our furniture and friends. Another trainer informed me Lucy saw herself as the alpha-dog and I simply wasn’t dominant enough. True! My natural style is to live and let live. Lucy spent much of her time in a crate and I crept around the house hoping she would think she was home alone making nap time her primary activity. My occasional tantrum did nothing to teach her proper manners. My arm remained her favorite chew-toy and my patience was thin.

The new program uses a small device that attaches to her collar. When I push a button, she gets a gentle reminder that what she is doing is unacceptable. I avoided this type of a system until I had the opportunity to hold a collar in my hand and feel the vibration she would experience when given a correction. It is gentle, as if someone is rapidly tapping her on the shoulder and encouraging her to focus on right behavior.

It reminds me of Pinocchio’s conscience, Jiminy Cricket. Pinocchio’s goal in life was to become a ‘real boy’ instead of a talking puppet. Yet, his world was full of seductive temptations and stumbling blocks designed to divert him from the right choices. Jiminy Cricket would jump in and tap him on the shoulder in an attempt to get his attention away from those things that prevented him from living the life he so longed for.

If I have a choice, I would prefer the persistent tap of Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder to the gentle reminder from Lucy’s collar. Suffice it to say, I could certainly use either. Maybe we all could. We are surrounded with an infinite number of choices. Some make little difference – like whether to have a latte or cappuccino. Who cares? It’s probably a more important choice to have skim milk over whole milk floating on my espresso, but there are those who would argue that point as well. I have a fairly strong opinion about the foods I eat and how they are produced. I want my chickens to have had the opportunity to live like a chicken was created to live. You know, pecking and scratching instead of existing in a cage so small there is no place to move around and stuffed so full of hormones that they grow at an unnatural rate. I want real fruits and vegetables, preferably organic to protect not only my health, but as a means to keep pesticides and herbicides out of the ground waters. These are choices about health and ecology.

But, there are the other choices that are important in another way. What difference does it make if I flip off the driver who sped up so I couldn’t get into the lane I needed? Worse yet, what if I am that driver who thinks I own the road? Those kinds of choices get to the heart of who I think I am and how I expect others to respond to me. In reality they are choices about compassion and where I see my place in humanity. Yes, driving manners seem to be low-level behaviors, but they certainly speak to responses that can ooze out of a person when it appears no one is looking.

Finally, there are the really big choices that we all hesitate to talk about except to our very best friends who are sworn to secrecy and will keep the promise of confidentiality because of where you have both been with each other over the years. These are the things that can be life altering – sometimes in a good way, and sometimes not.

By this time you get the point. Our choices come from so many places. They can come from past pains or joys; from intellectual parameters or creativity; from our experiences or our dreams; from our fears, our perceived inadequacies, or crazy attitudes about life and what it is supposed to offer to us and those around us. Ultimately, our choices can be jaded by responses to life’s experiences and opportunities or augmented by joys and successes. I guess it’s fair to say there is also a point in life when we could use a correction collar like Lucy’s or a nagging conscience like Pinocchio’s Jiminy Cricket…something to keep us on course when our options magnificently pull us away from all that is right and true and good.

The thing is, we have been given a barometer to weigh our choices against. The trendy expression “What would Jesus do?” frequently comes up in conversations about right choices. To fully appreciate this statement, one has to dig behind it to define how Jesus made his decisions. He didn’t have a laundry list of religious legalisms. Of course, he was Jewish and there was the Torah and all of the laws contained therein which spoke to human interactions and relationships.  Yet, he followed the preeminent theme of love and compassion even when his choice collided with the common interpretations of Torah as defined by his culture. Basically, his life taught us that when all else fails, try love and compassion. Actually, try them first so all else doesn’t need to fail!

I still want the nudge when society’s alluring message of what’s important rubs up against what love and compassion would have me do and I start leaning the wrong way. I will make mistakes, I will have successes and, ultimately, I will need a whole lot of forgiveness for those times when I really want to be right but am decidedly wrong.

Lucy’s collar is instrumental in teaching her manners and Pinocchio became a real boy. I am hopeful that when I remember to wear love and compassion as my correction collar or accept them as the nagging cricket on my shoulder, my choices will be the right ones.