Tag Archives: Christianity

Political correctness, tolerance and Picasso…

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by in acceptance, Christianity, compassion, human nature, political correctness, relationships, spirituality, tolerance

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I am sick of political correctness. I think it has more to do with the ‘political’ part of the phrase. Nor am I a fan of tolerance. It smacks of sanctimony and arrogance. It’s our human nature to place a level of righteousness on our beliefs and hold them as the proper perspective in a given the situation. To tolerate alternative ideas is to support another person’s right to think any old way they choose while maintaining my right to feel superior for having the accurate and appropriate belief. Yuck! Who wants to be around that?

Now, about political correctness. I believe there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors that should be based on civility, manners and compassion. Most world religions have ethical and moral guidelines that let us know when we are playing ‘nice’ and when we are being tasteless and need to rethink our motivation to say or do certain things. Unfortunately, the politically correct movement seems to be generated by those who want to seem tolerant so they instruct the rest of us on what is acceptable – or not – based on their standards and find anyone who doesn’t agree to be intolerant thereby making the alleged tolerant group intolerant of those whom they deem intolerant. You get my point??? Who gets to decide what is correct and what isn’t? It seems be the opinion of the loudest voice when, indeed, there are times that person or group must be challenged.

I am not contending that certain behaviors in our culture don’t need to go away – permanently. It’s not okay to make generalizations about groups of people based on race, gender, socioeconomic level, intellectual abilities, disabilities, hair color, eye color, state they live in, country they came from, sexual preference, books they like or what side they prefer to lay on when they sleep. Not okay! But, we all pretty much know that and, for the most part, are conditioned to be…well, tolerant.

Then there are the groups that the politically correct crowd has decided are fair game for ridicule with absurd generalizations. Just try saying you are Christian, or God forbid…fundamentalist Christian. Throw in a splash of Republican slant and let the games begin. At this point you will become a woman hating, money hungry, uncompassionate, hypocritical homophobe. There are some who might be! The problem is embedded in thinking that everyone within a demographic feels, behaves and believes the same way. Further, the targeted group is judged without tolerance or giving an individual the respect to be heard.

My guess is some of you agreed with me regarding generalizations about race, gender, yada, yada, yada. But, when I got to the hot button buzzwords some polarized in one direction and others were crazed the other way. The thing is, political correctness only welcomes those groups that the politically correct movement chooses to accommodate. Those falling outside of their chosen agendas seem to be fair game to categorize and ridicule.

You also might be wondering why this rant is showing up in a blog that is traditionally focused on Christian spirituality. It’s pretty simple. Nowhere in scripture does Jesus attempt to sway anyone toward his beliefs with sarcasm or contempt for who they are or where they come from. He accepted – not tolerated – Samaritans, tax collectors, prostitutes, crazy people, women, Pharisees and an entire litany of fringe groups as he walked among us. Notice the word ‘us’? He didn’t stay away from or make fun of those people. It didn’t matter who they were! Nor did he arrogantly tolerate them. His compassion included full acceptance for the person he was talking to. It wasn’t about shaming them into thinking his way or accusing them of being less worthy of his time if they were different than him. He showed compassion for all and it was through that compassion that people grew beyond the prejudicial thoughts that bound them.

And, yes, there are fringe groups in all world religions that maintain radical beliefs that unless we look, think and believe with them, we are not worthy of God’s love. I prefer to let God make that determination, thank you very much. Again, if we believe that God loved the world and sent Christ to teach us God’s ways, then we must recognize that God loved the WORLD – not just my corner of it, or my particular group of cronies. Everyone is included in that love. Even the people we make fun of or shame or avoid because they don’t share our physical characteristics, lifestyle or beliefs.

Think of Picasso. Did you know that he not only painted, he created sculptures, ceramics, tapestries and drawings? Further, not all of his paintings are abstract. If I happen into a museum exhibiting his work, I may resonate with one piece over another, although I wouldn’t think to destroy the integrity of a painting or statue that I didn’t understand. Then, if I choose to study his life and art, I might begin to see the beauty in a piece that I previously dismissed. Maybe it will be in his use of color or in the grace or elegance depicted through the flow of lines in his subject. I might become so consumed with his works that I internalize the intimacies of his art and no longer need to look for his signature as a means to recognize the creator.

It is much like our relationship with God. It’s no coincidence that scripture begins with two equally beautiful descriptions of God’s joy in creating all that we know and exclaiming, “it is good”. I guess “good” includes cockroaches and snakes, although I’m not sure why. It also includes all those people who are different than me, as well as dogs, cats, tomatoes, trees and ponds. When I look at these things, not simply as objects around me, but rather as the art of God – the things God made – I recognize the artist’s love for each and every object in his/her collection and I learn to handle those items as if I truly believe they are good.

Ellen DeGeneres said it quite well in regard to her comedy:

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.

Sometimes we bully to get a laugh, to make a point, to get a political vote or in a misguided attempt to elevate our own status or power. It’s never okay – not under the guise of political correctness or the equally offensive buzzword “tolerance”. It is okay to honestly and respectfully share perspectives and grow in acceptance of someone who is different than you, remembering all the while that you are indeed different to them as well.

An open letter to my children on Mother’s Day…

11 Sunday May 2014

Posted by in Christianity, compassion, meditation, Mother's Day, relationships, spirituality, Uncategorized

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imagesFirst, and most important, I love you guys. Of course I have great memories and lots of pictures of the days you were born; preschool, high school, and college graduations; birthdays; vacations; dance and music recitals; sports; proms; and all the milestones of the growing-up years. I have attempted to fill photo albums with your lives. Honestly, they are pretty tacky. That’s no surprise since we all know scrapbooking is not one of my strong suits. More recently, I’ve started making slide shows of my digital shots, although it is slow and laborious for me. No, it’s not the technology. It might surprise you that I actually have that somewhat under control. My problem is that I keep hampering my progress to savor the memories and, subsequently, hunting for a tissue.

Although we have succeeded in capturing the major moments of your lives, I hold even dearer the remarkable times that Hallmark hasn’t yet dedicated to a card campaign. I think of you, Bill, asking me where you should go to college…when you were two. “Honey, let’s get you to preschool first!” But, that was the theme of your life – always ready for the next chapter before I got past the table of contents. And, Christie, with your gentle approach to life and recognizing the need to live and let live you taught me to slow down and recognize the beauty in a situation. Two children with opposite, yet equally amazing, approaches to life.

You see, neither of you came with an owner’s manual. It’s probably a good thing! It would have scared the tar out of me to read ahead about what to do for chicken pox, ear infections, visits to the principal’s office, adolescent drivers, broken hearts and all of the crazy twists life sent your way. It was far better to experience each day for what it was and worry about the ‘stuff’ when and if something occurred.

The lack of instructions also meant I wasn’t prepared for the last bedtime story. When did that happen? I don’t even remember what book it was. When was the last time I held your hand to keep you safe in the parking lot? When did I stop sewing cute little dresses or spend the afternoon outside while you played in the sandbox and on the fort? When did you stop arguing over Happy Meals at McDonald’s or the special toy at Burger King? Or when was the last time you crawled in my lap for hugs and snuggles while we watched TV? In the thick of your growing up, some events passed right on by, unnoticed until I looked back and realized you both became adults…compassionate, honest, independent, responsible citizens…all that I could have hoped for. Yet, I am afraid I blinked several times too many, allowing you to shoot into the next stage before I knew what was really happening.

I remember shopping one day and hearing the store’s pianist playing “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof.

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?

I don’t remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn’t it yesterday
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears.

Yes, you guessed it. I had to leave the mall before I made a scene.

Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to say thank-you to you, my beautiful children. You have challenged me, stretched me, honored me, and loved me – even when I didn’t fully understand that you were the only ones who couldn’t do something that everyone else’s mothers let them do. You gave me the opportunity to discover how to function with very little sleep; to hear playful activities over the hum of the shower; how to stock my car with hand wipes, spot cleaner, kleenex, napkins, trash bags, snacks and 100 other items you may need on any given outing; and to organize schedules so everyone got to where they needed to be on time – which is no easy feat for someone who has never respected the clock.

More importantly, you taught me to care about someone’s life and well being more than my own and to love unconditionally. And, for that, I cannot tell you how thankful I am.

You see, children are indeed a gift from God. I don’t care if they are your own, nieces and nephews or the kids next door. Children challenge us to think creatively and to question why things are done the way they are. They help us to see frogs and flowers and mud puddles. They remind us that the world is a beautiful and amazing place for us to touch, taste, smell, hear and see God’s presence threaded throughout all that is. I love, even today, experiencing life through your eyes. You challenge me to rethink old notions and thoughts; to hike on muddy, rocky paths…both in reality and metaphorically; and to embrace all that life has to offer. I am deeply grateful for that, too.

So, on this day, thank-you for the flowers and the dinner. Thank you for the phone calls and the “I love you’s”. But, most of all, thank you for the memories and the assurance that we will continue to navigate this crazy thing called “life” together. 

Marriage, Puppies, and Unconditional Love…

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by in compassion, human nature, love, marriage, spirituality

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imagesRelationships can be pretty darn hard. After almost 3 decades of marriage, there are still days when I wonder what in the world my husband is thinking. Of course, even though I frequently choose not to admit it, he has similar thoughts about me. It is an interesting phenomenon to think about, particularly as the wedding-season is approaching. I mean, what do you tell young people as they look at you with starry eyes and ask the rhetorical question, “How do you make a marriage last?” The first thing I typically think is that I am being patronized because of my age. You know, ask the old queen an easy question so she can preserve whatever brainpower she has left. Then, my thoughts move to questioning the intent of the question. Is this soon-to-be young bride or groom seriously wondering about maintaining the health of their relationship or do they want reassurance that their partnership is special and immune from dissolving into frustration, arguing and potentially divorce?

There are many people I know, including my husband and myself, that have had what we now fondly refer to as our “starter marriages”. These unions began with optimism about what life should be after the I-do’s, but can’t withstand the realities that present themselves as life moves on. Some are doomed from the start simply because of unrealistic expectations. You know, things like, “It will be better when we are married,” or “I am ___ years old and it’s time for me to settle down”. Some marriages expire when one party or the other realizes they were in love with what they wanted the other person to be rather than to clearly see who they are. Still others end because our culture is not very good at making things work. There seems to be a belief that if a relationship is hard, it’s not meant to be.

Allow me to sidebar at this point. Some marriages are not meant to be! Substance and/or physical and emotional abuse are deal killers. When they occur, the relationship is over. There are some amazingly strong people who can rise beyond their behaviors and addictions with professional help. These individuals have my utmost respect.

So, what makes a marriage last? Go to any wedding shower and you will find sage advice woven into the conversation or, more obtrusively, written on cards that are presented with high hopes to the young couple. Honestly, to tell them to be open and honest at all times and to never go to bed angry sound good. But, how long do those virtues continue after the “I do’s”? “Open and honest” is well and good until the first bad haircut or the pants that actually do make one’s backside appear larger than normal. How about “open and honest” when the in-laws are coming for an extended visit? Or after making an expensive, special, time involved dinner that tastes like cardboard? How open should one actually be? Honesty is vital, but what happens when it falls in the category of being brutal?

Then we have the concept of never going to bed angry. Really? As if anything is actually accomplished in the midst of fatigue after a long, frustrating day when all one really wants to do is go to sleep? In theory, rest and sleep are better when stress is minimal, but the reality is there will be times when it takes more than a day or two to resolve some issues. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. It simply means there is something big in the way and it will take some pondering, soul searching, introspection, prayer and, possibly, professional help to come out on the other side of it. Like the other difficulties we face in life, these times can be catalysts for growth and deepening our understanding of who we are – both as individuals and as partners.

Again, what makes a marriage last? It took some years to figure this one out. The funny thing is, it is not as complicated as we try to make it. Maya Angelou phrased it beautifully in her famous quote:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Herein lies the key. It’s not about the money or the children. It doesn’t matter if the house is big or small or if the car is new or old. Nor does it matter if one partner or the other travels 5 days a week or works long hours. What does matter is that in the midst of life, both people feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe. I guess that’s where open and honest fit in. Beautiful words and gestures mean nothing if they aren’t believable. But, when they are backed up by complete honesty, they are cupid’s arrow to the heart. Love begins and renews itself over and over again.

The thing is, this mantra doesn’t work only in marriage. It is important in the workforce, at school, with our children or in any other interaction we have. We avoid the people who make us feel inferior, stupid, naive, or incapable, yet we migrate toward those who encourage, praise, admire or complement our actions. We long to be acceptable and accepted.

I think that’s why I love my dog so much. It doesn’t matter what mood I am in, how unorganized or crazy I feel, if I have dressed up for the day or if I am schlunking around the house in pajamas. She offers me the gift of unconditional love. Because of that, I can forget that she gnawed on the dining room rug, (it’s been replaced), or had her way with a little used chair, (the upholsterer is coming to pick it up one of these days). What I do remember is that she is always glad to see me and share her tail wags and puppy kisses.

You see, I believe God is the same way. God will love me always – in spite of my moods, my outbursts, and every personality wart that makes me…well, ME. To know and recognize God’s unconditional love allows me to chisel away at my more negative side and let the good shine through just a little more. God’s love makes me feel a little safer, a bit calmer…and the list goes on.

So, what about marriage? What makes a marriage last? In my opinion, the cryptic answer is embedded in knowing puppies, God and the wisdom of Maya Angelou.

Maybe we should expand on the statement, “I do” and make it “I do intend to make you feel loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated and safe every day of my life and if I don’t, I am counting on you to love me unconditionally until I do again.”

That should come right before, “And I promise to always pick up my socks.”

 

I’m done with Easter…

20 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in Christianity, compassion, Easter, human nature, meditation, spirituality

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imagesI am done with Easter! I should probably clarify that I am done with what seems to be some general beliefs about Easter.

First, there is the Easter that has been hijacked by consumerism. Discount and grocery store shelves are filled with chocolate candies wrapped in pastel colors…the same sweets that sported orange and black just a few months ago. Kitchen appliance and decor stores boast chicks, eggs and bunny-painted plates that seem to guarantee a fabulous Easter dinner, complete with perfect families and a stress free day…as if there is such a thing. Department stores and boutiques have their window mannequins decked out in floral dresses and seersucker suits. Hats are not only everywhere; they seem to be a mandatory purchase. We are bombarded with the consumer version of the holiday – complete with promises that if we buy just the right stuff, our Easter will be as magical as the moment when Mary Magdalene realized it wasn’t the gardener she was speaking to.

Then, there is the other Easter. You know the one where we are supposed to become joyful because Jesus died on a cross to atone for my sorry life and filter how I appear to God? Like, I am supposed to be glad that this perfect, amazing man who died a gruesome, painful death simply because of me…okay, and all the rest of humanity…came back to life and I am somehow supposed to trust the god that planned this horrific event that happened to his “beloved”? I mean, love a god that slaughters innocence? I know, I know…it’s about the resurrection not the crucifixion; yet somehow in this theological format the emphasis always ends up on the wrong event.

The thing is, there is an Easter that I not only believe in, it’s one that I can find embedded with joy, trust and love for God. It’s one that absolutely recognizes Christ’s death on the cross and His return to life. The difference is, the Easter I believe in also celebrates Christ’s life simply because it is through his life that he taught us how to live. It’s so obvious in the text of John 14: 6-12.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.

Do you see it? Of course, it’s all about the semantics. Who hasn’t experienced a zealous Christian evangelist who preaches belief in Jesus is a pre-requisite for salvation by using this text? But, what is it we are supposed to believe? That there was a virgin birth? That God is so angry at humanity that only Christ can convince God not to turn his back on us forever? That if I follow a prescribed set of religious behaviors then I, too, can be saved? That God hates certain groups of people? That God is gender specific?

It seems to me that Jesus said it all and humanity spent the next couple of millennia not only defining what he meant, but making rules that have very little to do with the message of God’s love that Jesus preached and modeled through his life and ministry. In this passage from John, Jesus basically says, “Look at me. Look at how I love even those who others think are unlovable. Do you see how I was compassionate even with someone who everyone else hated? Someone who was outcast? Someone who was unclean? Someone who was alone, forgotten, crippled??? I spent time with tax collectors, women, social misfits, zealots, Pharisees and a whole litany of crazy, mixed-up people and enjoyed them all! And, you know what? To know me is to know my father. You see me, you know who I am and how I am excited about every single person I meet! Well guess what! God longs to know you, too! The thing is, God wants you to know God as he/she is…not the ogre humanity has made out of convoluted images of God. I am like God and God is like me. Isn’t that good news???!!!”

That said, I find it impossible to believe that God mandated Christ’s brutal, painful death. What I do find plausible is that certain groups saw Jesus as a threat to their power and authority. Others saw him as disruptive to their way of life. To maintain the order of life, as they knew it, Jesus had to go away. But, he wouldn’t! He continued to preach and teach God’s ways even when his own safety was threatened. He knew it was a matter of time and he attempted to prepare his followers for the day when he was gone. Jesus loved people, but understood the dark side of human nature well enough to know that his time was limited. Is that what God wanted or intended? I sincerely doubt it. I believe God wanted humanity to embrace the message Christ brought to them from God. That message showed people the “way” which was “truth” and offered “light” to the dangers of a life lived honoring wealth, power and authority. Jesus’s way showed humanity what it meant to live life as God created us all to live.

I often use the example of a toaster. It comes with an instruction booklet to let the owner know how to use it safely, limitations of its function and what to do if it isn’t working. The bottom line is, the toaster is designed to do certain things. If I decided to make pancakes in my toaster – not the pre-made frozen variety, but homemade buttermilk pancakes – I would create a horrible mess. My toaster would be dripping with batter, the heating elements would likely blow out, there would be the stench of burned goo, and I not only have to make other plans for breakfast, I would probably need to send my toaster in for repairs. A toaster is not made to make pancakes. However, if I make toast in my toaster, I will be happy with the results and my toaster won’t wear out quite as quickly. Maybe I’ll try to make a grilled cheese sandwich in it, or toast a frosted pastry. If I do, I again run the risk of damaging my toaster. If I keep expecting my toaster to do things that it was never intended to do, I might need to have someone show me how to properly use it. The engineer who designed it might come to help me. Most likely, I would get my tutorial from someone else who knew what the engineer intended in his/her design and could guide me along the way.

God lovingly created us and the world we live in. Throughout time God has attempted to hand us an owners manual. Take the 10 Commandments for example. They are a guide for living by loving God above all things and loving others as we love ourselves. When humanity had issues following the rules, God sent Jesus to show us what living as God designed us to live looked like. Jesus is the way…God’s way. Can anyone picture Jesus nailing someone to a cross? I can’t. Yet, to know Jesus is to know God. It doesn’t fit that God’s vengeance came in the form of murder. Killing unrighteous behavior with love, kindness, compassion and mercy is more likely.

You see, I believe that the crucifixion is a minor event in the fascinating story of God’s love. Even when humanity attempted to destroy God’s message of love and hope, God won. Jesus went to the tomb and on the third day…a day that should have found his body decaying and smelly, a day that the ancient culture would have identified as verification that he was really, REALLY dead…Jesus lived. Furthermore, he didn’t live to tell us that God was done with us and that the only reason he had to die was our fault for being such failures. He lived to tell humanity that, in Paul’s words, “…neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

Now, that’s an Easter I can get excited about! Alleluia!!!

 

Elves, wreaths, purpose and meaning…

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by in Advent, spirituality

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UnknownI guess I am the last person to find out about The Elf on the Shelf. I’m not quite sure how I missed it. Maybe because my kids are grown? Although I still frequent the card shops that litter them around the store. I just didn’t see it as anything other than a cute, Christmassy decoration. Little did I know the magnitude of its purpose and meaning, which I shall try to paraphrase. It’s like this little guy’s job is to live in a household or a classroom as be a hotline to Santa, reporting in on a daily basis about the behavior of the community he lives in. Seems Santa needs some help – something that can be seen and, unlike previous generations who were plagued by the thought of Santa’s unrestricted observations, not left to the imagination. His level of frustration results from being sent away from the North Pole where all the other elves get to make toys and is manifested in little impish acts which are observed by multitudes of children each morning. I am not part of this tradition so I have some questions that may seem to have obvious answers. I mean, if the elf is supposed to elicit good behavior in children, how do you explain the elf’s indiscretions? And, why is good behavior only important right before Christmas? No one notices the other 11 months? Obviously there is a piece of the lore that I missed…

As I pondered this phenomena, it occurred to me that in like manner there are traditions in the church that hold deeper meanings that aren’t readily understood. The advent wreath comes to mind. Now, it’s pretty common knowledge amongst Christians that the wreath holds four candles that surround one large white candle. The four candles can be red …or purple…or blue and the candle for the third week can be pink or rose…or it can be purple or blue or red. Each candle is representative of a specific word or thought, depending on the denomination presenting the information. They might be prophecy, Bethlehem, shepherd or angel. Or they might be hope, preparation, joy, and love. The second candle might also be called the peace candle. The center candle is universally thought of as the Christ candle and is always white. The wreath itself is a symbol of God’s all encompassing love that has no beginning and no end. Although there is no consensus on whether this tradition came before or after the beginning of Christianity, some speculate a wreath was decorated with candles during the dark of winter in pre-Christian Germany as a symbol of hope and encouragement that spring would certainly come. With the array of details surrounding the Advent wreath, it’s no wonder so many of us simply sit back and watch each week as a candle is lit, recognizing that the countdown to Christmas is well on it’s way. By the time the fourth candle is lit, many of us are in a mild state of apoplexy hoping that we will still have time to accomplish the myriad of things we feel the need to complete before the Big Day.

But, what if we look at the wreath as more that a seasonal calendar? What if we ponder and reflect on the meaning behind the candle of the week and carry that meaning into the world as we go about our business? Instead of a countdown, the wreath might become a reminder of the message Christ brought to us.

Let’s call the first candle “hope”. Hope is an amazing thing! It’s the realization that there is something to be learned in the midst of the worst life can throw at us. It’s seeing the humor in a distressing situation. Hope is optimism, even when something is as bleak as a cold winter night. It’s recognizing goodness in people, even when those people seem to be the reason for our stress. Although, sometimes our perception of hope needs help. In those moments it helps to consciously identify gratitude in and through and about the thing that is making life difficult. Maybe it’s cold outside, but it makes the cocoa taste just that much better. Maybe a loved one lives far, far away, but you live in the era of cell phones and emails. Maybe the illness doesn’t have a good prognosis, but you find the people around you are bringing meals and love into your home. Maybe the checkout line is long and slow, but you have time to breathe deep and relax while you wait for your turn. Hope can change anxiety and stress into the realization that life might suck at the moment, but there is something amazing just around the corner.

The peace candle is lit on the second week. There is an amazing song played primarily during the holiday season. The first lines take us from world peace to inner peace. “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me; let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be.” What if we felt that kind of peace inside of us? The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NRSV) Okay, when we turn this one inside out, we find encouragement not to stress over a given situation, to chat about it with God through prayer, remembering to find that nugget of gratitude. It’s like we look back to the hope candle and forward to the Christ candle to find that place where we experience peace. Then, when we really, truly feel peace, we can’t help but interact with others without defenses, power grabs, criticisms, judgment, or any of the other things that work against getting along. And…if we can find that sense of peace as we interact in our homes, our work, and our neighborhoods, maybe others will feel it and share it leading to that elusive peace on earth.

Week three seems pretty obvious when as we come off of weeks one and two. How could we feel anything but joy when we realize hope and peace are possible? Romans 15:13 states, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (NRSV) Interesting how these three words – hope, peace and joy – keep intertwining in and through and around Christ, who came to us as God incarnate.

It’s fitting that the last candle on the wreath is “love”. Think about it. The first letter to the Corinthians states, ““Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (12: 4-8) This passage includes all of the candles on the wreath! Hope, peace, joy and love!

The final candle is found in the center of the wreath. Unlike the variety of colors and words assigned to the other four candles, this is always called the Christ candle and is always white. Christ is at the center of hope, peace, joy and love and hope, peace, joy and love all point to Christ. Imagine it as if Christ sparks energy and light into all of the other candles and they in turn build on that energy as it returns back toward Christ. It’s like breathing in and out or the ocean’s rhythms through its ebbs and tides. Christ at the center, humanity emulating Christ…back and forth until God’s will is achieved on earth as it is in heaven.

A simple wreath with a few candles guides us through the season of Advent, reminding us of what and who is important as we progress toward Christmas day. Take time each week to focus on the candle making it your mantra as you go about your business, your shopping, at home, at celebrations and in your quiet meditations.